Happy Rebirth Day
by herc009
Summary: Lord Vader receives a basket of Oranges on the Anniversary of his rise to power, and he doesn't know who sent them. There's a better explanation once you get to the story.
1. Chapter 1

_This was a challenge on the Luke/Vader-Writers site that I belong to entitled; 'Random Challenge of Doom.' It was written for fun and the people are a bit out of character. Please read and review. If this should offend anyone I do apologize. Thank You and enjoy._

_P.S. I do not own these characters, nor will I in the future. This was written for fun and no money exchanged hands. George Lucas owns all the rights._

** 'HAPPY REBIRTH DAY'**

** CHAPTER 1**

Eighteen and half-standard years had passed since Anakin Skywalker had died; from a certain point of view, and Darth Vader taken his place. Although they were one and the same, the person that was Anakin Skywalker had been all but vanished, leaving behind the second  
most evil person in the galaxy.

Sitting in his meditation chamber Vader looked back on that unforgettable day. It had seen the end of the Clone Wars and the birth of a new Empire. It had also seen the end of the Jedi order,  
with the exception of one Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was he that had caused the death of his one true love. And the pain of that moment had remained with him to the very day; the power of that pain made him who he was today.

Over the years he suffered many pains, but then ones that he remembered the most were the death of his wife, and the pain of having his body rebuilt before his very eyes. Why would his master put him through such pain? The only reason he could think of was to keep him connected to the dark side, and to continually remind him of how insignificant he was for not being…whole.

The constant reminder of his body's inefficiency to do what he wanted it to; having to adjust each limb, change filters… to depend on something for survival other than himself, was reason enough to keep him angry for a life time.

He hated this day remembering it made him angrier by the second. For every year, someone had sent him a basket of oranges. Always disguised but usually in the same type of packaging; the more puzzling thing was that he had no idea who was sending them. Sitting in his chamber he could not see them, but he knew that they were there. Hesitantly he reached over to the control board, and threw the switch that opened his chamber. Slowly the chambers upper half rose  
into the air; swiveling around in his chair, the first thing that came into sight out of the ordinary was the package that he knew contained the basket of oranges.

" Where do these infernal packages come from!" he said in a raised voice, reaching over to the console he activated the switch and contacted the command center of his ship the 'Executor'.

"Yes Lord Vader…" came the voice from the intercom.

"Commander Vaashh… I want who ever is responsible for this package being in my chambers; to report to me at once!" Vader ordered, using the force to amplify his voice.

"As you wish my Lord I shall report to you at once." Came the reply from a voice now shaking with fear.

"It was you commander?" Vader asked with a little surprise in his voice.

"Yes my Lord, it was me knowing how much you like when these packages arrive I couldn't with a clear conscience have anyone deliver it but myself. Plus no one volunteered to do it when I asked, for some reason they like… living."

"I do not like the sarcasm in your voice… fortunately… for you, I've retired six commanders this week, therefore I shall spare you their fate and deal with this personally, send all information on the origins of this package to me, I want it here within the hour." Vader finished slamming the console shutting off his connection to the command deck.

"As you wi…" was all he got out before Vader shut off the link to his chamber. Commander Vaashh flipping the switch turned and began making his rounds about the command deck, along the way thinking to himself, "Now there's a surprise, as if we didn't know you were going to look into it personally anyway."

He'd done the same thing in the previous years, and came up with the same conclusion… the package was untraceable. Someone within his crew was bringing the packages aboard, and that someone was knowledgeable in the force and able to elude him, and leave no trace.

With very little to go on, he wasted his time searching for things and people he knew nothing about. Scrutinizing every little bit of information he could from what was virtually nothing; he had his crack troopers checking any lead they could find, exploiting every bit of information, no matter how small and after using all of his resources the answer was always the same… "Sorry my Lord but no such data exists," or "we found nothing my Lord."

--------------------------------------------------------

The room was large and elaborately decorated with art from hundreds of conquered worlds. Emperor Palpatine sat at his desk smirking; as he read previous reports of Vader's' progress in his never ending search for the mysterious person sending him the Oranges.

"Such an easy pawn to manipulate, I could do this forever." He said laughing aloud.

The Imperial guards dressed in a red, a modified version of stormtrooper armor; were standing at the entrance to his chambers whispering to each other that the Emperor was off his rocker… yet  
again.

Resting his elbow on the desk Emperor Palpatine brought his hands up in front of himself tapping his fingertips together, he began to contemplate his next move, reaching down to the control center of his chair he contacted the other person behind his evil prank, Grand Moff  
Tarkin.

"Yes my Emperor your wish is my every command." Tarkin said answering his page.

"Oh… stop schmoozing Tarkin, Be fortunate that you are still in my service; as most people end up feeling my wrath rather than benefiting from my mercy." Palpatine said annoyed.

"Yes my Emperor," came the answer but also saying barely audible, "I love you too."

"What! … What was that you said," Palpatine extremely annoyed that one of his minions would take such liberties in his presence.

"Nothing my Emperor I was just commenting to one of my subordinates here on another matter." Tarkin answered hoping that that would satisfy the impatient little rogue.

"Again you are graced with my mercy, but pray Moff that it does not end, For even though I value your knowledge and tactics, you are not irreplaceable." Palpatine returned smugly.

"As you wish my Emperor, I live only to serve you and your graces; now if I may inquire about the reason for this call?"

" Yes the call… I wish you to step up to the next portion of my plan, allow him to receive one name in his search that of… Luke Skywalker."

"And which plan is that my emperor, you have so many it's hard to keep track of them?" Tarkin asked pushing his luck.

"What plan!" Palpatine now, not just annoyed with Tarkin but visibly angry, "How can you forget what time of the year it is?" beginning to control his anger but wanting with every ounce of his body to ring the scrawny neck of Tarkin.

"Oh… the orange thing …Yes Emperor, I do recall the time of year; but don't you think you've taken this a might to far, I mean how many more countless lives must be lost on a prank?" Tarkin now was bringing a little seriousness to the conversation.

"My dear Moff Tarkin, even we diabolically evil Emperors must have fun too."

"And how should this name, Skywalker is it," now being sarcastic again, " to be mentioned to Darth Vader my Lord?" Tarkin asked already knowing the answer, which would be left up to him to figure out.

"Do not trouble me with tiny details by the time this conversation is over you will know that answer." Palpatine finished and immediately ended the transmission.

"Sheesh…" Tarkin said "You'd think he at least say good by or something, what a nasty little Sith he is today." he said turning to his subordinate.

Tarkin returned to his ready room went over to his personal computer and brought up the program entitled the "The Emperors Little Joke", clicking on the icon, he waited for the program to open.

"Ah… yes here we are," he said smiling down as the screen showed the full outline of the Emperors Prank. All it said was:

"Send Lord Vader a basket of Oranges on the Anniversary of his rise to power."

Nothing came to mind as he took the fifteen seconds to read and reread the Emperors plan, as intricate as it was. How he was going to give this information to Vader he had no idea. Getting up he walked over to the view port; looking out he whispered.

"This part is not going to be easy."


	2. Chapter 2

**RANDOM CHALLENGE OF DOOM**

**"Happy Rebirth Day"**

**Chapter 2**

Tarkin strained at trying to figure out how to drop Luke Skywalker's name to Vader without leaving any trace of where the information came from. He knew he had to figure out a way and soon, the Emperor was not a patient man and he pushed him about as far as he wanted to the last time he'd talked to him. The next time he'd have to be before him and Tarkin didn't like the idea of being hit with Force lightening.

Pushing aside a spilled bottle of asprins on his desk he activated a hidden switch opening a hidden draw. Once fully opened it revealed a holocube. Taking it out of the draw he walked around his desk, and placed it on the floor. After getting it just where he wanted it he activated it, and an image of the Emperor appeared with a smile from ear to ear, his hands placed on his hips like he was some type of hero.

Returning to his desk he pulled the draw further out this time revealing several stones of varying sizes. Picking up the largest first he threw it at the image of the Emperor. Though it passed right through the image if it had been real it would have hit him right in the forehead.

"YESSSS!" Tarkin screamed seeing where the stone had hit, "Take that you sawed off little Coleac.

He repeated the move several more times, feeling a little relief each time he hit his mark. Retrieving the stones he paused in front of the holocube looking at the Emperor, he reached up slapping his face then poked him in the eyes. Happy that he took a break but still stressed that he hadn't figured out how to do what the Emperor tasked him with. He put the cube and stones back in their little hiding spot, then sat back in his seat to further ponder the problem he faced.

Several different ideas had come to mind but all ended in leaving some kind of trace back to him, or the Emperor. Still frustrated from before it had built up again having to continue thinking of a way, plus the fact that he always had to do the Emperors dirty work. Putting the prank on hold he decided to take a walk around the command deck.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Luke sat in his quarters aboard the Millennium Falcon, he, Han, and Chewie were asked to check out a suspicious transmission emanating from and area in space that didn't have any planets but did have a substantial asteroid field. Having taken the first shift in the cockpit he was taking a break before heading back.

Having never thanked Han for saving his life when the first Death star was destroyed, he wanted to do something special for him. So whenever he had the chance, and no one was looking he had hidden in his quarters a cross-stitching kit. Not wanting to have it be like every other one on the market he had changed his just a little, normally it read: 'HOME SWEET HOME'. But he altered this one to read: HAN & CHEWIE'S HOME SWEET HOME. Figuring the he could hang it in the common area of the ship to add a little touch of home, seeing that Han and Chewie spent most of their time here.

He'd just put the finishing touches to the panel when Han chimed him over the intercom.

"Hey kid, we're a little hungry up here how about a couple of sandwiches and a drink?"

Sliding the cross-stitch under his bed he answered.

"Anything special or just throw whatever's if the cooling unit between to slices of bread."

About a minute passed, when Han answered, well as long as your taking orders how about two orders of Brot-Rib sautéed with mushrooms, and maybe a couple of side orders of…" Luke figured he was pausing to ask Chewy, then came back saying, "Yeah a couple of orders of Gumes, I know they go with Nerf steak but they taste just as good with Brot-Rib."

"Is that all?" Luke asked getting annoyed knowing full that none of that stuff was located anywhere near this ship least of all stored in the cooling unit.

"No, two slices of Citros Snow Cake, should do it… oh and a bottle of your best house wine." Han finished.

"Coming right up," Luke replied going along.

Going to the galley Luke threw together what ever was in the cooling unit, which wasn't much between to slices of bread, grabbed a couple of Corellian Ales and headed to the cockpit. Standing at the door he said in a slightly raised voice startling Han and Chewie.

"WHO, got the Brot-Rib special?"

Both Han and Chewie turned quickly then relaxed slightly when they saw it was Luke. Luke who was playing innocent asked with a smirk.

"Who'd you think would be coming up here to bring you dinner, Jabba?"

"Funny kid next time warn us before you do that," Chewie who returned to monitoring his panel when he saw it was Luke voiced his opinion of Luke's prank.

"No worse than you two ordering stuff that wouldn't be caught anywhere near this ship unless you crashed into a freighter full of it." Luke replied.

"Why always with the cracks about my ship… sure she's old, 'sorry about that baby' " he said patting her console, "but she's never let you down when you really needed her, yeah her hyperdrive system had a few bugs here and there, but between her and I you're still alive." Han said all defensive.

Luke was about to rebuke Han's statement went the ship's alert system went off telling them that they had reached their destination.

"Strap in kid, I'm gonna revert back to real space, and it may get a little bumpy," Han ordered.

Luke knowing the dangers of not being strap in when a ship reverted from hyperspace jumped in the passenger seat behind Han and did as was requested. Chewie watched and waited until Luke gave him a nod signaling that he was strapped, and good to go. Chewie hit the switch to the hyperdrive and what was not visible during hyperspace travel be came visible in the form of millions upon millions of stars, not mention one very large asteroid belt.

"Where suppose to find the starting point of a transmission they're not even sure came from here, in all of that?" Han asked astonished.

_"That's the idea, Boss,"_ Chewie answered.

"Hey kid, you got any Force tricks that can help us with this…ah… job?"

"I'm good but not that good." Luke answered.

"Chewie you got any ideas?" Han asked now scratching his head.

"That transmission could have bee bouncing around in that mess for years." Luke commented.

"Chewie send a transmission to the Alliance, and ask them if there sure it emanated from here," turning to Luke he said, "I hope they made a mistake, cause if it did we ain't go home anytime soon that's for sure." Han guessed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Emperor Palpatine was in his most favorite part of the Imperial Palace, a room his most beloved followers had commissioned special works of art just about him. Though the Emperor himself commissioned most of the works contained here he still liked coming to look at… himself.

"My don't I look wonderful today," he said stopping at the largest of the sculptures, "It's like the eyes follow you where ever you go."

His royal guards making faces beneath their masks, commented softly _'yeah and that's not the only thing that follows you around'_. Emperor Palpatine turned abruptly looking first at one guard then the other, giving them an evil stare. Almost like he had heard what they said he waited a few seconds then turned his attention back to himself.

"Oooo look at the big bad Emperor, watch out or he'll toast you like Bonta bread."

Again the Emperor turned abruptly hearing something but unable to make out what was said. Walking over to the two guards he stopped in front of them with his hands on his hips he glared at them saying.

"You have comments my servents?"

"No my Emperor we were just commenting on how life like the statue is… and… that if you were standing on a pedestal you couldn't tell which was the real you, there almost as life like as you… my emperor."

Looking at them funny his eye brow raised thinking whether or not to believe them he waved his hand and went back to admiring his works of art. Relieved as the Emperor walked away the guards chuckled with one whispering.

_'Almost as life like as you, you're messing around to much if he were smarter we'd both be Bonta toast.'_

_'Nah,'_ the other whispered back_, 'when he's in here he's way to into himself to notice anything._'

Emperor Palpatine walked around the hall and stopped in front of the newest addition to his collection a statue of him kissing a baby, screaming for the guards, he was not happy with the alteration someone had done to the statue.

Someone had placed a diaper on the baby with one side of it coming loose and its contents spilling down the Emperors dress uniform.

"Who would dare such an awful thing, to disgrace such a work of art with baby poodoo, I want this perpetrator found spare no expense."

He said, as he began to clean the statue, then stopped smelling his fingers.

"Aaaaa it's real poodoo, oh quick give me some wipes get me to a refresher, I've been violated," he screamed running around with his dirty hand held high.

The guards unable to move, for fear that if they got any closer to the Emperor they would burst out laughing and surely die, not by the Emperors hand but from the laughter alone. Calling for more help as difficult as it was; a squad of royal guards came crashing through he door thinking that the Emperor was being assassinated. Taking defensive positions about the hall one inept guard fired his blaster towards the Emperor thinking he was a mad man running around with his hand in the air. Missing the Emperor completely the bolt from his blaster hit the statue of him and the baby shattering it into hundreds of tiny pieces.

Stopping dead in his tracks Emperor Palpatine looked as pieces of his statue rained down on top of him.

"My statue!" Who is responsible for this outrage, tell me, tell me now," he said as he picked up some of the pieces.

Turning he looked at the guards and again demanded to know who had shot his statue. With out saying a word the six guards pointed to the one holding the smoking blaster who in turned reluctantly and very slowly raised his hand.

"You will stay here and pick up every piece of this statue and I don't care how you do it, I want my statue put back together, do you hear, and no missing pieces either." The Emperor said as he stormed out of the hall, again holding his dirty hand in the air.


	3. Chapter 3

**RANDOM CHALLENGE OF DOOM**

**"HAPPY REBIRTH DAY"**

**Chapter 3**

Tarkin paced briskly in his office, it had been three days since the Emperor had ordered him to give Lord Vader the name of Luke Skywalker, but giving him this name was a problem in it self.

"Oh… This is not good, not good at all, three days and still nothing, I can see it now, 'Moff have you done what I ask of you' he'll say, 'no my Emperor I've…' then poof crispy Bantha poodoo."

Thinking to himself, _'I could just tell him the name, and say I forgot where I heard it… nah he'd use that Force thingy and my eyes I'd pop out of my head.'_ He had to come to the realization that there was no possible way to do this with out leaving some kind of trace of where it came from. Sure the packages were delivered, but the Emperor himself had delivered them to Commander Vaashh, and the rest was history.

"No use in putting this off..." Tarkin said activating the holonet, taking a knee he waited for the connection to be made then bowed his head.

"Oh this is horrible how could someone do that," Emperor Palpatine exclaimed to himself, vigorously washing the poodoo from his hand, "I'm a nice guy aren't I," he asked himself looking into the mirror.

"How could anyone be so disrespectful to a man with a face like this, you handsome evil Emperor you," He finished giving his reflection a wink.

Exiting the refresher in his private office he headed straight to his desk to see what progress the inept guard was having with his statue. Activating the comm he called the memorial room.

"Ahem." he said into the comm getting the attention of the guard.

"Yes your worshipness." the guard answered.

"How is the progress going with my statue?"

"Well I ran out of Bantha Glue, and there's none left on the ship so... I'm kind of just arranging the fifty zillion pieces that are left, so if you don't mind Emp, I'm very busy." the guard answered.

"You will not speak to me in that tone!" Palpatine screamed at the guard.

"Why? What are you going to do that isn't going to happen to me anyway after I finish putting this…thing back together, and all because I was doing my duty and protecting you," the guard shot back not caring what was going to happen to him.

"You have a point there… hmm, let me think on it, after all I can be less evil if I want to be you know." Palpatine answered.

"Well you think on it, in the mean time I have to find your nose, so bye, bye for now and call back soon."

"WHAT! STOP, you will not cut me off, I do the cutting off around here," Palpatine screamed, but by the time he finished the guard had already signed off.

"Oh that's it, that is it," Palpatine said agitated, "as soon as he's finished with that he's going to pay, oh boy is he going to pay."

Just as the Emperor ended his talk with the guard, a transmission came in from Grand Moff Tarkin.

"Ah… Moff Tarkin I trust you have everything in order?"

"Umm… well, not entirely my Emperor, it seems that no matter what I come up with there seems to be a way to trace it back to you, I mean me."

"So you've done nothing, its been three days I believe since I've asked you, and you come up with nothing, unbelievable, and your in charge of the Death Star, I may have to rethink that decision."

"Yes you worthlessness, you wish is my command," Tarkin replied.

"What, what did you call me?" Palpatine asked infuriated.

"What?" Tarkin replied.

"What? What do you mean WHAT."

"Did I say what, or did you?"

"Stop that! You called me something."

"I didn't call you anything, did I?"

"Don't confuse the issue, you called me something and I don't think it was very nice." Palpatine answered.

"I don't recall calling you anything, except your worthiness, my Emperor." Tarkin said thinking quick.

"Well… ok then, now I suppose I shall have to come up with a way to do this small task… have you any one in your detention block?" Palpatine asked.

"Yes my Emperor, we have several Alliance spies that await trial and execution, and I believe a few others, but no one of consequence."

"Well it has come to my knowledge that young Skywalker is searching the Oseon sector for a hidden Imperial communications outpost, how he got this information I'll never know. Any hoow, you might start there maybe send him on a reconosence mission claiming the same, only an Alliance outpost… what do you think, yes, yes I know… go on say it, that's tight you can say it… I'm a genius."

"So what do the prisoners in the detention block have to do with sending Lord Vader on a recon mission?" Tarkin asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Who said anything about prisoners in the detention block, I made no such comment." Emperor Palpatine retorted.

"But you asked about…" Tarkin started to restate but was abruptly cut off by the Emperor.

"I made no such comment." Emperor Palpatine said then ended the transmission.

"Tarkin visibly angry mumbled, "If you weren't the Emperor I'd, I'd…"

"What is that you're saying?" the Emperor said reconnecting to Tarkin.

"Nothing My Emperor, nothing at all, your order will be relayed to Lord Vader, Tarkin out."

Emperor Palpatine turned off his holonet then sat spinning in his seat thinking of the up coming meeting between Vader and Luke, with a grin from ear to ear he whispered, "Oh to be a mynock on an asteroid when the two meet."

"There's nothing out here! It's Oseon the hind end of space." Han complained through the inter comm to Luke, finishing yet another sensor sweep of the asteroid field.

"I hear you buddy but Mon Mothma was pretty adamant about us searching this field, and we're not to come back until we've completely searched every sector." Luke reminded. Han.

"We've been at this thing for almost a week now and we ain't found nothing, and if you ask me we never will." Han retorted turning off the inter comm.

Chewie was sitting in the co-pilots seat plotting out the different sectors of the asteroid field then moving the ship there while Han ran the sweep. It was a long and repetitive job and Chewie was starting to get a little ancy pushing buttons and running scans, tapping Han on the shoulder he asked.

_"Hey boss we're not far from Paulking XVI that's got some nice cantina's, and friendly people if you catch my drift, whats say we take a break and get some R & R in?" _

"I'm with you Chewie I'm kinda sick of looking at rocks; but how are we going to convince the kid there to go, you know how gung-ho he is about getting this done, he'll never go for it."

_"Ya never know until **you** ask."_ Chewie replied.

"Me! Why do I have to ask it was your idea you ask him." Han shot back.

_"Sorry chief but you're the head honcho on this trip its gotta be you and only you, me I'm just the hired help."_ Chewie replied smugly.

"One of these days Chewie," Han said making a face at the wookie.

Flipping the switch to the inter comm, Han contacted Luke.

"Ah… Luke could you come up here for a minute I need to talk to you?"

"Yeah… be right up Han," Luke answered.

"You know he's not going to go for this I don't know why I let you talk me into asking." Han complained to Chewie.

_"Um… boss I didn't talk you into anything all I did was mention it and you did the rest yourself."_ Chewie replied.

"What ever, shhh here he comes look busy."

"Ok Han what's up?" Luke asked.

"Well… we've been at this nearly a week and supplies are getting low not to mention we're all getting a little space sick, so how's about we take a break and head to a planet not far from here that real hospitable?"

Luke thought for a minute looked at Chewie then at Han then down the passageway then back to Han.

Han a little puzzled asked, "Are you looking for something?"

"No… Just thinking… well Mon Mothma didn't say we couldn't take a break, and we have been diligent in our work… so yeah I think a days rest is at hand,"

"Alright, that's what I wanted to hear," Turning to Chewie he ordered, "Plot a course…" Han started to ask.

But Chewie being Chewie, he answered, _"Already done boss just say the word and we're history." _

"What! You've already got the course laid in, If I didn't know better I'd say this was a set up… no, this was a set up." Luke voiced.

_"Well not actually a set up, just planning a head, if you had said no you'd never had know the course was plotted,"_ Chewie replied.

Luke just looked at the two, shaking his head, he said.

"Well I'm strapped in…let's go."

Vader stood on the command deck of the 'Executor', it had been several days and nothing had come of his latest investigation of the mysterious gift of oranges. His anger grew with each passing hour and he needed something, or better yet someone to vent on. He thought of taking his anger out on Commander Vaashh, but having to explain to the Emperor why he'd dispensed with another commander, just because he'd gotten oranges, wouldn't sit well.

Commander Vaashh had been going over the morning reports when he noticed Lord Vader staring at him, smiling he gave a little wave. Vader who was not in a social mood just turned abruptly and started fidgeting with a data pad he'd been holding.

Commander Vaashh who'd now went to the comm center, being alerted by the tech that there was an incoming message stood by as the tech up-loaded it into a data pad. Reading over the message, Vaashh asked for volunteers to deliver the message.

"Aww come guys I delivered the package at least one of you could deliver this message," He said to each of the techs sitting at their posts; all of which had declined, "You're all a bunch of cowards."

Watching him leave the techs looked on with great interest each making wagers that Vader would kill the Commander where he stood once he read the message.

"I'll lay twenty credits that he doesn't make it past handing him the data pad," one said.

"Nah, I give him till he finishes reading the message, then it's lights out," another said.

"You're both wrong, I bet you fifty credits that he does nothing but tell him to go away," the last said

"You're on," the other two said in unison taking the others wager.

Cautiously Vaashh approached Lord Vader, when he was close enough he tried to get Vader's attention but his voice cracked as he tried.

"LL… Lord VV… Vader… "

"What! What is it?" Vader said turning to face Vaashh.

"I have a message for you from Grand Moff Tarkin," he said gaining a little confidence.

"Well give it here man." Vader ordered.

Placing the data pad on the railing to the command deck. He waited as Lord Vader read the message, figuring that there might be a return message.

Vader taking notice that Vaashh was still standing there asked.

"Is there something else Commander?"

"No my Lord I was waiting in case you had a return message."

"No there's no return message… oh and by the way Commander… well I'm not very good at this so here goes, this orange thingy has got me in a bunch and I haven't been sleeping and well you know… any way I just wanted to let you know that I don't hold you responsible for any of this."

"Yes my Lord," Vaashh said snapping to attention and smiling from ear to ear, then turning and heading back to the comm center. Once he commented.

"I guess you all owe me a drink later."

"Don't look at us," the two losing techs said, "he's the big winner all the drinks are on him," they finished pointing at the smiling tech.

"Oh…" looking to the tech with the smile he asked, "and how much did we make 'Lt.'"

"Lt. But he's just a tech you can't jump ranks like that can you?" one tech asked the other.

"You can do anything when your in command, now how much did we win Lt." Vaashh re-asked.

"Well a hundred credits, fifty for you and fifty for me, they had no faith in you, they figured we'd be scraping you off the floor about now."

"Looking at the two that lost the wager he said, "hmm… how's a change in assignments sound to you two, what you think Lt. maybe washing out the trash compacters on the whole ship sound right."

"Why yes Commander that would sound just about right," he returned.

"After this shift we'll have that drink, on you two," Vaashh said pointing to the two, who now had very disgusted looks on their faces.

Vader stared at the datapad, activating it he retrieved the message which read:

'Lord Vader it has come to my attention that a Rebel transmission has been

emanating from the Oseon Asteroid Field, you are to personally investigate

this situation.'

'Sincerely Your Friend & Buddy,

'Grand Moff

Tarkin'

P.S. This is an ORDER!

"What I am to investigate an Asteroid field this is madness I do not perform such menial tasks, Tarkin is out of his mind." Vader said aloud.

Every station on the command deck ceased as everyone turned listening to Vader's out burst, looking up from the datapad Vader noticed everyone looking at him, ordered.

"Ah… there's no problem… Now back to work, this instant; Commander Vaashh! Report to me immediately."


	4. Chapter 4

**RANDOM CHALLENGE OF DOOM**

**'HAPPY REBIRTH DAY'**

**Chapter 4**

Luke picked up the dishes from Han and Chewie and brought them to the galley he was kind of glad that they all had decided to take a break, if for anything to replenish supplies. He was getting sick of junk sandwiches, and from what Chewie was saying about where they were going there was a lot of cafés to choose from, he only hoped that there was a market to get food for the ship. Finishing the last of the dishes he headed to his quarters to get the cross-stitch he'd done for Han. Getting it from where he stashed it he fixed it into the frame that came with the kit and hung it in the common area for all to see.

Putting the finishing touches he finally found the best place for it, then took a couple of steps back to admire it.

"Yup adds a little bit of home to the old girl if you ask me," he said to himself.

Han who had just walked in from the cockpit stopped and was surprised at what he saw.

"What in the blue heavens is that?" he asked shocked.

Luke startled by Hans question said, "Don't do that I almost jumped out of my skin."

"Sorry kid, but what the hell **is** that?" he asked again.

"It's something my Aunt taught me, you'll do just about anything to pass the time living on Tatooine, besides I think it adds a homey touch don't you?"

"What ever kid, but why did you do that?" Han asked still baffled.

"Well I wanted to do something for you for saving my life at the Death Star and I really couldn't think of anything so I did that," He answered pointing to the cross-stitch.

"Thanks kid but you really didn't have too, it was my pleasure and I'd love to talk it over with you but I got to use the little pilots room, and I need you in the cockpit." Han said trying to sound humble.

"Ok I'm there, and it was no problem, it reminded me of the good times I had with my Aunt." Luke returned, heading to the cockpit.

Han stared at the cross-stitch for a couple of seconds then thought to himself 'it kind of does add a little homey touch,' then headed to the bathroom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Commander Vaashh sighed and whispered to the techs.

"What in the emperors black heart does he want now? And no bets this time, I mean it," he finished turning and heading to Vader.

"What you figure the same as before?" The tech asked who'd won the previous bet.

The two who lost looked at each other then at Vaashh then at Vader confered with each other for a few seconds, then one answered.

"Nah, double it, Vader's mad and I'm sure this time he's gonna fry or fly."

"Ok, there your credits, but if you loose that's one hundred and fifty credits from both of you."

The two nodded and watched as Commander Vaashh as he stopped in front of Lord Vader and snapped to attention.

"Yes my Lord." He said with his head bowed.

"You are to contact Tarkin immediately and have it forwarded to my ready room." With out saying anything further he turned abruptly and left.

Commander Vaashh slumped in relief, happy that he was still alive and in one piece. Turning he made his way directly to the comm station to do as Lord Vader bid.

Reaching the station he leaned on the chair, but then noticed that the two techs had not so much as looked at him while the newly appointed Lt. was again smiling ear to ear.

"Oh you didn't, I told you no bets."

"Well I could pass it up besides you're one hundred and fifty credits richer." The Lt. Answered.

"A **hundred and fifty**?" he said in a slightly raised voice.

"Yeah the two money bags there doubled the bet, what was I suppose to do I had to take them up on it, and I knew you'd be happy if everything turned out ok which it did so there you go."

"Well this calls for a little celebration _Captain, _lets say we meet in the lounge at sixteen hundred, then we can get our free drinks," he said placing a hand on the shoulders of the two techs that lost again.

**"Captain? **Two ranks in less than**…** that's…" He started to say, but stopped, "I know, I know… anything is possible when you're in command." he said sarcastically.

"_Right; _Captain, I think we're do for a break so if you wouldn't mind Lord Vader needs to talk to Grand Moff Tarkin make the connection and patch it through to Lord Vader's ready room."

"Yes sir, right a way… no wait I have rank now." turning to the two techs he ordered, "oh techs could you contact Grand Moff Tarkin… "

"We heard the Commander, and we're on it… _SIR," _the tech answered.

"Shall we go Commander," the Captain asked gesturing towards the door.

"Why yes, after you Captain."

Vaashh and the Captain nodded at the techs leaving them to stew in their loss, and their soon to be new assignments.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Han made final approach on the planet Paulking XVI, and requested clearance to land.

"Paulking control this is the freighter 'Boars Head' requesting clearance to land, I am including my transponder code with in this transmission, and await further instructions… over."

Han sat back his hands interlocked behind his head, swiveling in the pilot's seat he asked.

"What are you gonna do first Chewie?"

"I'm feeling a little home sick so I know where there is a nice little tap café that serves some fine Wookie food and drink."

"Fine Wookie food? I've had your food, and except for the fruit and certain drinks, Womp-rats would even turn their nose." Han shot back disgusted.

_"No worse that your Smugglers Stew… boss."_ Chewie shot back sarcastically.

Looking over his shoulder he asked Luke the same question. Luke paused several seconds then answered.

"Don't know I've never been here, so I guess I'm at you mercy." Luke answered.

"Stick with me kid and you'll do all right, I know just the place to go." Han said with a wink.

"Oh great," Luke replied.

"Boars Head freighter, you have clearance to land follow these co-ordinates, and enjoy all that Paulking XVI has to offer, Paulking flight control out."

"That's a roger, programming data now Boars Head out." Han replied.

"Boars Head… where did you come up with a name like Boars Head?" Luke asked.

Han unwilling to answer but figured what the heck said.

"Well it's been a few years since I've been here, and with the bounty and all on my head I only use that particular name and transponder code when I'm in this sector," Han started.

I was just starting in this business and came here on a run, I liked the place so I stuck around for a few days, one thing lead to another and the next thing I knew I was being chased by the local crime Lord," he continued.

"How was I suppose to know it was his daughter, anyway I booted out of here and haven't been back since," he finished, shrugging his shoulders.

"Wait you made the local crime lord upset and you figured it was safe to return how do you know he isn't still here?" Luke asked worried.

"He bit it about three standard years ago, so I heard, and word has it that this is now a crime free resort outpost… so I heard." Han answered.

"Oh great maybe I'll just stay on the Fal… Boars Head and catch up on some rest."

"Suit your self kid, but you don't know what you're missing."

"Yeah well… we'll see." Luke replied.

Chewie set down on the landing pad he was directed to by Flight control. Finishing the power down sequence he lowered the ramp, then turned to Luke, winking at Han he said.

_"Why don't you leave now while we finish here, that way if anything happens you won't be around." _

"You know that doesn't sound like a bad idea, Han give me some credits so I can get some real food in here?" Luke responded

Han reached into his pocket pulled out a few chips and handed them to Luke.

"There you go kid, don't go to crazy now." Han said with a smirk.

Luke now becoming a little suspicious asked, "Ok what are you two up too?"

"Nothing, what makes you think we're up to something?" Han asked.

"Just sit right there until I leave, something's up and I don't trust you two." Luke said leaving cautiously.

"My aren't we the jumpy little Jedi today." Han shot back, As Luke left the cockpit.

Waiting until Luke was out of sight Han turned to Chewie asking, "You think we should tell him?"

_"Nah,"_ Chewie answered, _"serves him right for thinking we were up to something."_


	5. Chapter 5

**RANDOM CHALLENGE OF DOOM**

**'Happy Rebirth Day'**

**Chapter 5**

Emperor Palpatine paced impatiently in his office he'd received a call that the inept guard that had blasted his statue into pieces had finished putting it back together. Waiting for his personal guards to escort him to the Memorial room so he could inspect the statue he grew more impatient.

"Oh this is worse than my birthday, I hate the anticipation," he mumbled.

Not wanting to wait for the guards he started for the door. He was just reaching for the activator panel when it open and in rushed the guards knocking the Emperor flat on his back. Sliding a couple of feet backwards as he hit the floor the guards immediately dropped their weapons and assisted helping the Emperor up.

"What in my black heart is the rush?" he screamed as the guards helped him up, "You know what, remind me to punish you later, there are so many things on my mind I just may forget."

The guards looked at each other then back to the Emperor then replied.

"We'll make a note of it Emp, you can count on us."

"Yes well… see that you do, now… lets get to the Memorial room I have to see my statue." He ordered.

The guards took their places one in front of the Emperor while the other followed closely behind. It took a few minutes to get to the Memorial room and the Emperor was more anxious than ever. Turning to the guard behind him he ordered.

"You go in first, then come out and let me know how it looks, I can't take anymore disappointment today."

The guard bowed his head activating the door panel entered the room waiting for the door to close he made his way to the statue. Approaching it he began twisting his head this way and that trying to figure out what it was that was holding a baby; knowing full that it was suppose to be the Emperor. Biting his lip he slowly turned and made his way back to the waiting Emperor. Activating the panel the door rose and there stood the Emperor with a preoccupied look.

"Well… how does it look?" Palpatine asked.

"I'd say it was an improvement but then again I'm no art critic either." The guard answered.

"Out of my way, you boob!" the Emperor yelled.

Pushing passed the guard Emperor Palpatine made his way to the statue. The Guard who hadn't seen the statue started to follow but was stopped by the other who just nodded 'no',

then whispered.

"Stay here you don't want to be next to him when he sees the statue."

"That bad huh?" the other guard asked.

"Lets just say, given the choice of being there when he melts down, and flying a ship into a super nova or black hole… Give me a ship." The other replied.

The Emperor rounded the corner and his statue came into full view, mystified as to what he was looking at he made no sounds but just stared and circled the statue, dumbfounded. Several seconds later he screamed for the guards. Hesitant, they slowly answered the Emperors call. Not looking at the statue as they approached the Emperor, they both took to one knee staring solely at the floor.

"I don't know," the Emperor said, "I think it… " Pausing he turned to the guards saying, "what do you think?"

Not looking up, and in unison they answered, "It looks wonderful my Emperor it really brings out the real you."

"I don't think we're seeing the same statue," the Emperor answered, "I mean I like abstract art and all but my ears don't belong on my knees, and why would he put my arm there, it just doesn't make any since."

"As I said my Emperor you'd would know more about that than I or my partner here." the guard answered.

"Yes… well… I suppose your right about that, but still… " He said cupping his chin and looking at the statue intently, then concluded, " no, I hate it, where is that guard, bring him to me at once he is to be punished for defacing my statue that way."

"Umm… he was to be executed as soon as he was finished, but when the detail arrived to collect him he had already done himself in." the guard answered.

"No, no, no, this will not do, someone must answer to me now!" Emperor Palpatine said in a raised voice.

The guards immediately getting to their feet looked at their chronometers with one saying.

"Geezzz… look at the time our shift is over time to leave," he said grabbing the other guard by the arm.

"Yeah… umm… sorry Emp but we gotta go and I'll send someone right down to help you with that."

"What your shift is up… oh… well… ok have a nice evening boys, then I'll wait here shall I?" Emperor Palpatine asked, but his question fell on deaf ears for as he finished the guards had already left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luke walked down the ramp of the Falcon, stopping at the bottom of the ramp he panned the docking bay. Several ships were in the bay with their crews working diligently refueling, doing maintenance checks, or unloading cargo. Off to one side a group of several people had gathered and were making there way towards Luke. Not sure of what was going on he stayed at the ramp as they approached.

"Welcome to Paulking my friend," one said in a raised voice.

Relieved that he wasn't in any trouble Luke smiled and approached them. He hadn't gotten very far when the rest of the group spread out to a semi circle in front of him.

"Well welcome to you too," Luke replied.

He'd just finished his greeting when the group began pelting him with what he could only describe as water bags. Bringing his hands up to block any that might strike him in the face, he turned slightly to get a fix on the Falcon, then bolted up her ramp.

"Stang! What was that all about?" he asked himself aloud.

Han who was just exiting the cockpit with Chewie following behind answered.

"Oh yeah we forgot to tell you; when ever you visit this planet the first person off the ship is pelted with water balloons, they deem it an honor, a sort of cleansing so to speak."

"A CLEANSING?" Luke replied angrily.

"Hey calm down it won't happen again if you had stayed they had given you something to dry off," Han returned, still chuckling.

Chewie who remained silent for the most part except for letting a snicker slip out here and there finally said something.

_"It wasn't my idea,"_ he said pointing at Han, _"Han didn't want me to tell you, he thought it'd be funny, I on the other hand did not."_

"Yeah I'm sure you didn't," Luke shot back, dripping on the deck of the Falcon.

"Go get cleaned up, and we'll wait for you," Han said holding back a smirk.

Luke stepped between Han and Chewie giving them each a stare that wasn't nice to say the least but letting them each know he wasn't pleased. Making his way to his quarters he changed his clothes; putting his boots on, he thought about what had happened he used a Jedi calming technique, the more he thought about it the more he felt like Bantha Fodder for snapping at Han and Chewie..

Leaving his quarters he headed down the ramp where Han and Chewie were waiting for him.

"Well there you go crisp and clean and ready for the town, and by the way sorry about the greeting you received," Han said with a slight smirk.

"Ahh… never mind, I did get a little heated, but given that it's a custom here I guess I can't really hold a grudge, but a warning would have been nice."

"Well that's partly my fault but mostly fur balls, if it had been really dangerous we wouldn't have let you go, anyway shall we go, there's a lot to see and we don't have much time," Han replied.

"Chewie since it was your idea that I go off first you get to do the shopping, and make sure you get a variety of stuff not just Wookie food?" Luke said tossing him the credit chips.

Chewie looked at Han who just shrugged his shoulders, nodded, then pointed towards the

exit of the docking bay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lord Vader stood at the front of his desk waiting for his call to come from Grand Moff Tarkin. Beginning to lose patience he began to pace in his ready room.

"Of all the nerve to order me to do a recon mission who does he think he is… the Emperor." He whispered to himself.

"No one tells me when and what I'm going to do, only the Emperor has that privilege, if it were possible I'd ring that scrawny little neck right through the holo transmitter." Vader continued.

He fumed for several more minutes whispering and gesturing to no one until the alarm sounded that he his connection was being made. Heading to his desk he took a seat and waited until the connection was complete. Several seconds later a twelve-inch image of Grand Moff Tarkin appeared before him.

"Ah, Lord Vader to what do we owe this unexspected surprise?" Tarkin asked.

"Stop with the pleasantries Tarkin what's the big idea of sending me on a recon mission who are you to tell me what to do…"

"But Lor…"

"Do not interrupt me, now as I was saying you don't tell me what to do or send me on any missions I get…"

"But Lord Vader…"

"I said don't interrupt me, now again, I get my orders from the Emperor and no one else is that clear?" Vader finally asked.

"Well if you had let me finish, you would have found out that this is an order directly from the Emperor, and as a matter of fact there's further information, there is a slight possibility that your oranges came from where you are going; of course that is unsubstantiated." Tarkin finished.

Vader a little dumbfounded answered, "Oh, well… never mind, I will leave at once, Vader out."

Tarkin sat staring as the image of Vader disappeared, shaking his head he mumbled.

"With you and the Emperor in charge it's a wonder we haven't been over thrown."


	6. Chapter 6

**HAPPY REBIRTH DAY**

**Chapter 6**

Chewie fumed going from vender to vender picking up the supplies for the Falcon. After all, Han was just as guilty as he was for not telling Luke of the greeting he received. Putting that aside the thing that bothered him most was the venders didn't deliver their goods. So Chewie had to load up his hover cart, then once it was filled off load it on the Falcon then go back for more goods.

Happy that he had gotten the final load of goods, he tossed the list that Luke had comprised into the trash, stored the hover cart he'd used to ferry the goods and headed down the loading ramp. He was looking forward to hitting the tap café that specialized in wookie food and drink.

Closing and securing the ramp Chewie hadn't noticed the host and his detail coming up behind him nor did they realize that Chewie had been there since early that morning. Turning as he finished entering the security code he was pelted with several water balloons.

"Welcome my friend to Paulking," a cheery voice said.

The delight in the host eyes suddenly went from a cheerful greeting to that of a look of horror as Chewie raised his hands and filled the docking bay with his screams of dismay at having been hit with water balloons.

The high pitched screams from the host added to Chewie's screams, immediately caught the attention of a Paulking security guard standing post outside of the docking bay, who at first thought someone was being attacked. Calling for re-enforcement's when he entered the docking bay, what he saw then was actually kind of funny; at least to him.

What he saw was not someone being attacked; at least not yet, but an elaborately dressed host and his party being chased around the bay by a very angry and extremely wet wookie. Only being armed with a stun staff the guard waited for the re-enforcement's to arrive, so sitting back he watched as the host and his party continued to run about the bay knocking things down in front of the wookie, which he just kicked aside a continued chasing them. Several minutes later and what seemed like a lifetime to the host the guard's re-enforcement's arrived and with some difficulty and quite a few bumps and bruises, they subdued Chewie and hauled him off to the detention center.

Taking a several minutes to somewhat calm Chewie down the detention center commander finally got the name of Han from him. Taking another several hours to locate Luke and Han, who was less than pleased he had to stop his fun and go bail Chewie out of detention. He walked into the detention center and headed straight for the desk saying.

"Excuse me but I think you're holding my friend here?"

The person behind the desk ignored Han continuing to do what ever it was she was doing. Han getting impatient and miffed that he was being ignored banged his hand on the desk repeating his question.

"I said excuse me, but I think you're holding my friend here?"

The woman looked up with a look of annoyance replying curtly.

"Sorry sir I'm on a break so if you wouldn't mind taking a number," she said gesturing to the machine attached to the desk, "and having a seat on one of those benches over there," she said pointing over his shoulder, "I'll be with you shortly."

Giving her a smirk of his own Han snatched a number from the machine and briskly walked over to the bench and plopped himself down. Siting there for a couple of seconds he then asked as nicely as he could.

"How long is your break?"

Not lifting her head up she answered.

"It will be done when it's done and not minute sooner… sir."

Having asked Luke to wait out front of the detention center figuring he'd be in and out, Han pulled out his comlink and told Luke to go on without him and he'd meet him back at the Boars Head.

Another several minutes pass and the woman finally stood up and said.

"Now serving number seventeen."

Han holding the number in his hand figured that he was next stood and took a few steps towards the woman looking down he noticed he had number thirty-four. With a sigh he looked about the room noticing that no one else was there but him, he walked up to the desk.

"Are you number seventeen?" she asked.

"No but seeing that no one else is here…" Han tried to say but was cut off abruptly.

"Sorry sir but you'll have to wait until I call your number… now serving number eighteen."

"You're kidding me right… there's no one else here." He complained.

"Sorry sir but it's procedure." She replied sarcastically.

Throwing the small piece of paper into the air Han walked back to the bench sitting down while the woman rattled off numbers offering assistance to people who weren't there. No sooner had Han sat down he thought that he'd better pick up his ticket figuring that if she was that particular he'd better have his number ready.

Moving to get up but not quite quick enough a little door opened at the base of the bench he was sitting on and out popped a small cleaning droid. Rolling across the floor it picked up his ticket disposing it inside it self then turned and zipped right back to where it came from.

"What the…" he said watching the droid disappear back into the bench.

Sighing again he slumped back into the bench listening to the women continue to rattle off numbers.

"Now serving number thirty-four."

Finally reaching his number he stepped over to the desk.

"Good afternoon sir, now if you'll just show me your ticket for verification, I can help you with you problem?"

"Well I had the ticket you saw me take one, but I dropped it on the floor and your little cleaning droid zipped out and sucked it up." Han explained.

"They are efficient aren't they, but I'm sorry sir if you don't have a number I can't help you, how do I know you didn't cut in front of some one just to be next." She returned.

Han threw his hands into the air again reiterating.

"There's no one here but me and you so how can I cut in front of some one who's not here?" he asked exasperated.

"Well sir they could be in the refresher or around the corner, I'm sorry but without a ticket for verification you'll have to wait."

Clenching his fist by his side extremely agitated he snatched another ticket turned and headed back to the bench. Looking at his ticket he noticed that now he should have had ticket number thirty-five but didn't he was now holding number sixty-two.

Jumping up from the bench he stormed over to the desk holding the ticket high and exclaiming.

"Whoa whoa, how can this be I had number thirty-five and now I've got number sixty-two how can that be I'm the only one here."

"Sorry sir you'll have to wait until I call you number."

"I KNOW I know," he replied returning to the bench.

Sitting on the bench fuming and baffled as to why she was making him wait he tapped his foot on the floor arms folded in front of himself and waited. Several minutes later finally reaching Hans number.

"Now serving number sixty-two."

"Hey guess what that's me," he said snappily.

"Yes sir how can I help you?" The woman asked cheerfully.

Taking a breath and recomposing himself Han answered.

"Well as I said earlier, I believe you're holding my friend here?"

"And your friends name would be?" she asked.

"Chewbacca or Chewie," Han answered.

"Hold please let me check my records…" a few seconds passed and she looked up from the computer saying, "Sorry I have no one here by that name."

"What you mean no one it was your own people that found me and told me you're holding him," thinking for a second he then asked, how about wookies are you holding any wookies?" Han said puzzled.

"Moment please… " She answered, "Yes, yes we do have a wookie here, a rather nasty one at that, he became violent when he was greeted by the host."

"He was pelted with water balloons and you didn't expect him to get violent, everyone knows about a wookies hatred for getting wet."

"Never the less he caused a great deal of damage, not to mention scaring the living essence out of the host and his detail," she explained.

"They're lucky to be alive at all," Han returned.

"Either way sir if you'd like to collect your friend the fine is five thousand credits. For damages and breaking several ordinances."

"Five thousand credits! Are you out of your mind, he shouldn't have even been greeted, we went through that this morning, check with that host he'll tell you."

"We have sir and that has been taken into account and the sum adjusted that is why you are paying five thousand instead of fifty-five hundred credits."

"Wow big discount for your mistake, I'll be sure to pass on how fair you are for your own mistakes." Han said sarcastically.

"That is your right sir but if you want to collect your friend pay the clerk around the corner, have a nice day now, and enjoy the rest of your stay here on Paulking."

"Enjoy my stay! Enjoy my stay, I'll enjoy my stay just let me get…" Han started to say but stopped when the woman motioned for the guards.

"Just around the corner sir," she said pointing the way.

"That way right," Han said with a fake smile.

"That's the way sir," she answered.

Watching him round the corner she sat down activating her comm-unit she called maintenance asking.

"Yeah… maintenance, this is the front desk, our ticket machine is acting up again, can I get someone here to fix it?"

"Will do mam," was the reply.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vader woke from his Force induced trance, quickly glancing down at the time that had elapsed, he noticed that he'd been traveling for a day and a half. Puzzled he looked to the computer checking to see that the data had been entered right. Checking and re-checking it, he finally noticed that he had transposed two number checking the chart and where the course he plotted was suppose to take him he found out that he'd been traveling in a circle since he'd entered hyper-space.

'Oh this will look real good if anyone finds out' he thought to himself.

Reaching over he flipped the switch that brought his ship back to real space, but while with drawing his hand he hit the forward repulsors, and the ship stopped almost immediately sending him smashing into the cockpit viewport.

"Damm he said shaking the cob webs from his head, regaining his senses he noticed that from smashing against the transpara-steel window his helmet was now dented directly on the forehead.

"Oh great… not only have I been traveling in circles but now the great and menacing Darth Vader is walking around with a dent in his head, this will really instill fear in the people." He mumbled shaking his head.

He'd only been out of hyperspace for a few moments when the comm came to life.

"Lord Vader is there a problem?" the voice asked.

"Problem? Why should there be any problem? Who is this!" he returned.

" This is commander…" he started to say.

"Never mind that I know who you are, why are you calling me?"

"Well you weren't expected back for at least… well not for a while anyway, and since it has only been a day, and you popped up on my screen I thought there might be something wrong." The Commander answered.

" Problem… no there's no problem… well nothing I can't fix my self." He stammered, "ah… Vader out."

Quickly ending the conversation he re-entered the data this time making sure the numbers were entered right, shrugging his shoulders he said.

"Well here we go again."


	7. Chapter 7

**"Happy Rebirth Day"**

**Chapter 7**

Vader's ship sat idol in space, having to stop so the computer could do the computations for the final jump, Vader hoped to find the person who was responsible for sending him these menacing oranges. Standing in the door way that lead to the cockpit and the passage that lead to the rest of the ship Vader was making shadow puppets on the wall.

Unbeknownst to him the Emperor had chimed in on the holonet and was waiting and watching for the right moment to interrupt him.

"A hem," Palpatine said not being a patient man, "You need to extend your little finger more to make the ear."

Startled and putting his hands behind his back he turned and face the image of the Emperor, replying, "Um... I wasn't doing anything."

"No, no," the Emperor started, "I do that myself when I'm alone in my office, it's quite relaxing."

"Oh... Well in that case I was just passing the time waiting for the final set of computations from the computer for the last jump. "Vader replied.

"You mean you're not there yet, and what's with the dent in your head?" Palpatine asked surprised.

"No... um... I ah... had a slight malfunction, yeah a slight malfunction in the... Kenifler pin connecting the two...um coils leading to the Transmodulator, yeah, so that kind of slowed me down a bit, as for the dent I ah banged my head that's all but everything's a o k now, yes siree Emperor Palp everything's working just fine now." Vader answered hopping that Palpatine would catch on to his lie.

"The kenifler who's it connected to the trans what's it.. ah never mind I was never in to that technical stuff, as long as you're on your way now?"

"Oh yeah like I said just waiting for the final computations for the jump then I'm back on my way, which brings me to my question for you?" Vader asked.

"And that would be," Palpatine asked in return.

"Ah the reason for your call?"

"What call? Oh this call, I get and make so many it's hard to keep track of them; no reason I was bored so I figured I'd just give you a call and see what's up?" Palpatine answered.

"What's up? Nothing is up, what makes you think that something is up, and if there was anything up you'd be the first to know, besides myself that is. "Vader answered a little nervous.

"A little paranoid aren't we there Darth old buddy, this was just a social call not a surprise inspection, maybe that dent did more than you think," Palpatine said then pausing and looking at something on his desk, "I'd suggest you take a couple of days and go see some sights and ease up a little, hold on a sec," Palpatine said again checking something on his desk, " Yeah here it is, there's a little planet near where you are going, a place called Paulking go there for some R and R, I think you could use the break, consider it an order."

"As you wish my Emperor," Vader answered bowing his head.

"As I wish? What do I wish?"

"You just told me to take a couple of day off and go to Paulking for some R and R." Vader answered shaking his head, "I think maybe you should join me there Emp maybe you need a break too."

"You think so? It is kind of hectic back here you know, and by my omnipotent self I could use the break." Palpatine answered rubbing his head.

"Yeah why don't you hop in a ship and join me there and we can have some fun together, kind of like a master and apprentice get away." Vader answered happily.

"You know what I just may do that... wait a minute I just can't jump up and leave like that who will feed my fish, I don't trust anyone but me to do that." Emperor Palpatine replied.

"Well suit your self but I'm going to have me a real good time maybe I'll get you a little holo-cube for you desk, how would that be?" Vader asked.

"Oh I like holo-cubes make sure its one with a wintery scene I like the snow." Palpatine replied.

"Ok Emp you got it, well the computations are done and I'm eager to start my little vacation so ta ta for now Emp and say hi to all the people back on Courcant for me." Vader finished.

"Ok dent head, I mean Darth my old friend you have a good time and don't get into any trouble I wouldn't want to have to come bail you out of the detention center, oh by the way when you are there see to getting that dent fixed that sort of thing will get you a nick name, and not a very nice one at that." Palpatine snickered, then ended the transmission.

Retrieving the co-ordinates Vader fed them into the nava computer then rubbing his hand together he said in an excited voice, "Dent head I'll show you dent head prune face."

Flipping the switch that sent his ship into hyper-space, reclining in the pilots seat and putting his feet up on the console he was just getting comfortable when the seat back broke causing him to do a backwards summersault off the pilots seat.

"Dam," he said getting up and looking in all directions to make sure no one saw him then remembering he was alone he whispered, "I really need these two days off."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Han And Chewie headed back to the Falcon, Han wasn't talking to Chewie he was kind of mad at having to bail Chewie out of the detention thus putting an end to he and Luke's good time. They had just entered the docking bay when Han stopped abruptly, turning to Chewie he asked in a gruff manner.

"You know," he started pointing a finger at Chewie, "I never would have expected this from you, even though you do hate water you didn't put up that much fuss the last time we were here so what's the difference this time?"

_"Well there... **boss**, the last time I wasn't stopped from having a good time and forced to do the shopping, and another thing for your information I was quite mad at getting wet then too I just held it in better… back then."_

"Makes no difference you knew we needed the supplies and well someone had to do them... so there you go." Han shot back.

_"Well it's not what I wanted to do I need some time off too you know you never appreciate what I do you always criticize me, put me down calling me fur ball and walking carpet and such, and I don't care if you leave without me. I'm going to the Wookie tap cafe and having a good time you at least owe me that much."_ Chewie said very hurt and disgusted.

" Whoa, whoa the slick you'll have to check with the mission commander for that buddy," Han said sarcastically.

_"Mission commander since when do we have a mission commander, no one tells us what and where we're going to go or do."_ Chewie returned.

"Hey pal I don't like it any more than you do but we signed on to help the kid so he's in charge, so just like me you're going to have to buck up and ask for permission," Han chuckled, knowing that under the circumstances Luke would agree, not to mention the fact that he had already decided to do just that given the fact that Chewie had to do the shopping.

Grumbling under his breath Chewie stormed up the ramp to the Falcon leaving Han there surprised and a little worried. Heading straight to the living area he found Luke sitting at the table looking through something's he'd bought while sight seeing, Chewie slammed his hand down on the table startling Luke.

"Hey what's the big idea you almost broke my Kaminoian Rain globe," Luke said looking at Chewie then started laughing when he saw Chewies' appearance, "Eww what happened to you," he asked knowing full what had happened.

_"Ha ha very funny, I'm getting cleaned up then I'm going out for some food and fun... you got a problem with that fly boy,"_ Chewie said pointing a finger at Luke.

"Well I don't know we are on a tight schedule," he started, giving a wink as Han entered the room, "and we've already been here for the day, we really should get back to the search."

_"Fine then leave with out me cause I'm going,"_ Chewie argued, then turned walking away still arguing but more to himself than to Luke, _"get plastered with water balloons then locked up in a cell three times to small and still wet at that, no one is gonna tell me I can't have any fun."_

Chewie turned looking first at Luke then at Han snubbed his nose at both then closed the door to his quarters.

"Geezz," Luke said, "You think he's a little mad or what?" he asked looking at Han.

"Well what did you expect he wasn't very happy getting stuck with doing the shopping then to get all wet and thrown into the detention center, how would you feel?" Han answered.

"Well now that you put it like that maybe **we **should ease up a little and show him a good time, what do you think?" Luke returned.

"It's the least we can do, hey is that one of them Kaminoian Rain Globes?" Han asked looking at the object in front of Luke.

"Yeah pretty nifty huh I figured Leia might like to put it on her desk or something." Luke answered.

"Oooo, someone's got the hots for the Prinnn…cess." Han teased.

"No, No I don't and don't start with me, if anyone's got the hots for the Princess it's you." Luke shot back shaking his finger at Han.

"I do not…" Han started then paused finishing with a smirk, "well, maybe just a little.


	8. Chapter 8

**'HAPPY REBIRTH DAY'**

**Chapter 8**

The tap café Chewie had chosen was everything he remembered it to be. Though the last time he'd been there it was in much better shape. The out side of the building had been kept up for aesthetic reasons but the inside told a different story. Obviously rum down due to the probable many Wookie visitors that had spent many a credit to drown away their troubles or from just being home sick for Kashyyyk, hence the name 'Kashyyyk away from Kashyyyk'.

The inside was quite run down. The walls had repairs in places where a Wookie or other visitor had gotten mad and either punched the wall or shot it with his bow caster. Which was probably why the manager had put up the sign leave your bow casters at the ship but bring all you credits. Dim and filled with smoke Han and Luke were sitting at a table almost in the center of the room, Chewie how ever was standing on a table dancing to some sort of Wookie folk music.

Han and Luke watched then had to turn away laughing in controllably as the dance that Chewie was doing made him look like he was having a seizure.

"I've seen some weird dances in my life but this has got to be the weirdest," Luke commented.

"You think this is bad you should see their courting ritual," Han replied.

"That bad huh?" Luke returned.

"Well if a Wookie wants to court he has to go back to Kashyyyk to do it, it's suppose to be taboo but I'd call it strange beyond strange." Han explained.

Continuing with the same process they'd watch until the laughter had gotten to a point where they had to turn away, Chewie had looked at them several times as if saying is there a problem. When neither of them answered him he continued dancing. Adding an occasional scream to the dance the manager started to take notice as the screams that were sporadic now came at a regular pace. Walking over to the table he addressed Han about it.

"Hey pal, you and your friends are gonna have to leave before he really gets out of hand and starts breaking the place up." the manager said pointing at Chewie.

Still unable to talk because of Chewie's dancing, Han reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit chip worth a thousand credits. Regaining some composure he tossed the chip to the manager asking.

"Here will that cover the damages… that is if he causes any?" still chuckling

The manager caught the chip looked at the amount then looked at Han then to Chewie than back at Han. Nodding approvingly and giving Han a thumbs up he turned and went back to the bar. Han watched as once the manager was back behind the bar he called over what Han figured to be a server; leaning over to talk to him he pointed to where Han and Luke were sitting. Han getting a little worried fingered his blaster, but when the manager handed the server a pitcher of Wookie ale he relaxed. Nodding his thanks to the manager who in return gave Han another thumbs up; went back to watching his friend make a fool of himself.

The three stayed until almost closing time, then full of Wookie ale and some sort of nut they were serving staggered back to the docking bay. Han upon entering kicked a bucket full of cleaning solution sending the bucket skidding across the bay and spilling its contents all over the floor.

A security guard who'd been napping in his little cubby hole on the far side of the bay was startled out of his nap when Han kicked the bucket. Upset at having to move he went to investigate who or what was making the noise. Getting closer to the three he asked.

"State your business, or show me your pass for being here?"

"Jusss hold on a sec-ond," Han replied, patting his pockets looking for the pass.

"Please sir you must present your pass or I'm going to have to ask you to leave." the guard ordered.

"Juss a sec, Juss a sec I had it a second ago, or did I," Han said rubbing his head, "Anyway thass my sh-ip over there… the manininum… minilium, oh the white one," he tried to say, then just pointed at the Falcon.

"Sorry sir I can't let you approach any ship with out the proper authorization, if you can't provide it you are gonna have to leave," the guard reiterated.

Chewie moved forward several steps motioned with his hand toward the Falcon then fell flat on his face. Luke who was just as drunk as Han and Chewie laughed through his nose then did the same. Han heard the thuds, turning he saw Luke and Chewie laying on the floor and mumbled.

"Th-ey'll feel th-at in tha morning," turning back to the guard he said, "Ok General you can see where in no, no condi... tion to start any trou...ble…" was all he got out when he too passed out falling on his face.

The guard huffed his annoyance then reached into his belt retrieving a comm link.

"Central we got three more for the drunk tank send down the retrieval team."

A voice came back acknowledging his call saying, " Roger that Tink will send em right down."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Vader sat in orbit of Paulking XII awaiting clearance from Paulking space port. Adjusting the yoke he steadied the ship when clearance came through.

"My lord you credentials have checked out and you have clearance to land in docking bay 12A, proceed with landing sequence." the voice ordered.

"Affirmative Paulking Central activating landing sequence now." Vader replied.

"Just sit back and enjoy the ride and let our computer do the rest."

"Negative Central I will…" Vader stopped remembering what the Emperor had told him then finished, "Affirmative central you have the comm."

Flipping the switch allowing Paulking to take control and land his ship Vader kicked back undoing his harness he put his feet upon the console forgetting that the pilots seat was defective he no sooner put his feet up when the back of the pilots seat gave way sending him into a backward summersault off the seat.

"I'll be dipped in Bantha poo," Vader spat as he righted himself a stood up.

Just as he got his balance the nose of his ship dipped send him sailing into the forward view port adding yet another dent to his helmet. Paulking Central catching the error responded .

"Sorry sir we had a slight malfunction in our attitude control, but back up has taken over and the rest of your ride should be smooth."

"Yeah copy that central," Vader replied shaking the cob webs away.

Glancing at his reflection in the view port he was less than happy with what he saw, "Oh great another dent, I look like a dented can of Bantha fritters."

Moving to the co-pilots seat he strapped in and wondered how he was going to explain why he looked the way he did should anyone asked, then remembering he was the Dark Lord of the Sith he chuckled saying.

"They need no explanation now do they."

Still feeling a little self conscious he rummaged through the small cargo hold aboard the ship finding a tarp tucked away in a corner. Wrapping it around himself, covering his head and shoulders he looked at his reflection in the view port and was again not entirely happy with what he saw.

The tarp was stained with coolant and lubricant and even though he couldn't smell it, he knew it wreaked of the chemicals that stained it. Tossing the tarp aside he decided to go for broke and just left everything as was.

Heading back to the cockpit he sat in the co-pilots seat and waited for the ship to land. Listening to the music that Paulking Central had piped threw the comm Vader drummed his hands on his knee to the tune that was playing.

"Catchy tune he mumbled," getting into the mode of relaxing.

Several minutes later Vader's ship touched down and he powered down the ship activating the ships internal security system two droids exited their cubby wholes and reported to Vader.

"I am leaving the ship now you are to allow no one but my self to board this ship, unless you receive explicit orders from me… is that clear?" Vader ordered.

"We hear and obey your dent ship." the droids answered.

Stepping close Vader eyeballed the two droids for their comment but his looks fell on blind eyes for droids showed no emotions. Thinking of that after a few seconds he whispered to him self.

"Oh great now I'm trying to intimidate droids," frustrated he turned and stormed out of the ship.

Reaching the bottom of the ramp Vader turned to set the outside controls to lock the ship up and unbeknownst to him the Paulking Hostess group started to make there way towards him. They were with in several feet of him when the hostess began his greeting.

"Welcome to Paulking my friend."

Just as Vader turned the Hostess pelted him square in the chest. Water seeped into the circuitry of his chest panel sending a charge of electricity through out his body. Fully stunning him and rendering him unconscious. Vader fell face first to the floor causing yet another dent in his menacing helmut.

"Great, now we're in for it light bright, do you know who that is?" a member of the hostess's party asked.

The hostess rather new to life it seemed answered, "No."

"That's the Emperors right hand man Darth Vader." the member explained.

"Darth Vader the Sith lord?" he asked in return.

"That would be him, one and the same." The answer came.

"Oh I don't feel so good, I need to sit down." the hostess said feeling rather dizzy.

"Wow," another member of the party said looking at Vader, "all the battles he's been in and you killed him with a water balloon."


	9. Chapter 9

**"Happy Rebirth Day"  
**

**Chapter 9**

Vader woke, his vision blurred, he strained to clear it trying to find out where he was. His body ached and he had no idea why. Trying to sit up only made his vision more blurred. A med droid at the foot of his bed noticed him stirring and called for the Dr. Coming over to him he asked.

"Well how are we doing this morning, milord?"

"I've felt better… I think." Vader answered.

"I'm sure you have, you did take quite a shock, if not for your suits internal systems you surely would have died." The Dr. returned.

"My suit?" Vader asked perplexed.

"Yes your suit, its systems took most of the shock, but not all that is why you … well, passed out milord."  
"Passed out, took most of the shock, what are you talking about, where am I, and who are you?" Vader asked in a less than omnipotent voice.

The dr. now getting worried asked.

"I'm sorry I should have introduced my self I'm Dr. Killemall, but more importantly you don't have any memory of what happened to you milord?"

"No I don't and why do you keep calling me milord, am I someone important?" Vader asked.

"Oh I was afraid of this, one last question… do you know who you are?"  
Vader thought for several seconds and even though the Dr. couldn't see his face he knew he was straining to try and remember.

"No Dr. I can't remember, that's a bad thing, isn't it?" Vader asked starting to get panicked.

"No, no… well not until we do more tests, my best guess is that more of the charge hit you than I thought and well for lack of better terms… it scrambled your brain."

"Scrambled my brain! Is it permanent?" Vader said staying just this side of hysterical.

"Calm down, calm down now nothing is permanent until the tests are done." The Dr. said trying to calm Vader down.

"No this is permanent I know it I'll never be the same, I have to get out of here."

Jumping out of the bed Vader started to run around the room in a hysterical state. The Dr. just stood and watched as Vader hands flailed in the air and he repeatedly screamed, "I'm doomed, I'm doomed." Not sure where he was going and still some what groggy from his ordeal, it didn't take long for his condition to take over, quickly turning he took several steps towards the Dr., staggered then fell flat on his face.  
The med droid who while Vader was running around and from the direction of the Dr., returned from the other room with a sedative.

"That won't be necessary now 2-1B, he's taken care of that himself. Place him back in bed give him a mild sedative, and prepare the Bio-scanner for a full scan, oh and see about having his helmet fixed, we can't have the Empires second in command running around with dents in his head no matter what state he's in." The Dr. ordered.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luke was the first to stir waking up he found that he was lying next to another being from what he could see through blurry vision it was any one he recognized. Sliding his feet over the edge of what could only be describe as a cot from the pits of hell, he sat up hoping his vision would clear quicker.

He was wrong what followed from getting up was worse than when he was laying down. Slumping back against the wall he closed his eyes until he felt it safe to move without the fear of throwing up. Several minutes later he reopened his eyes still feeling rather queasy but not as bad as when he first woke, Luke pushed him self to rise. Bringing his hand to his head he mumbled.

"Should never have let them con me into coming here."

Looking around he found that he was not in the falcon but in a cell, spying Han in another corner with Chewie in the cot opposite him. Still a little dizzy he stumbled over to where Han laid and jostled him.

"I'm up, I'm up." Han said startled.

"What happened last night and why are we here?"

"Oh, I don't feel so good," Han responded.

With the words from Luke's mouth finally registering in his head he replied.

"What do you mean why are we here, aren't we on the Falcon?" Han asked in return now sitting up and shading his eyes from the over head light.

"No, we're not on the Falcon we've been locked up and from the way it smells in here I think we're in the drunk tank." Luke informed Han.

Springing to his feet Han screamed , "Drunk tank, how did we get…" was all he said for standing up to quick made him so dizzy he fell back on the cot bumping his head on the wall.

Great now we'll be here longer," Luke whispered to himself, and then figuring Chewie could carry him he moved over to jostle Chewie. He was just reaching down to shake him when he thought better of it as the picture of a wookie ripping his arm off after be startled from sleep. Pulling his hand back he resigned to the fact that he'd have to wait until they woke up on their own.

Several hours Later Chewie had finally woken up and for some reason was the only one of the three that wasn't suffering from a hangover. And wasn't angry until he figured out where he was.

"_Oh damn arrested again, this just isn't the trip for me?" _he said to Luke, who with out Han to translate, didn't understand a word the wookie said so Luke just stared and nodded.

Han finally stirring sat up this time a lot slower and with one hand cupping the back of his head. "What hit me?" he asked anyone who was listening.

"The wall," Luke replied, "nice to see you're finally awake, now how are we going to get out of this?"

"Get out of what?" Han asked still rubbing the back of his head.

"Jail, it seems we've all been arrested." Luke returned.

"Arrested? " Han asked still groggy and in pain.

"As I said before the way it smells in here I think we're in the drunk tank," Luke again informed Han.

"Has no one come to call us, or check on us?" Han asked finally opening his eyes and looking at Luke.

"About an hour ago a guard showed up to bring us to the magistrate but you two wouldn't wake and sense we're all together I had to stay, we may or may not be seen today, anyway we're here for lunch, he said it's some type of stew, I can hardly wait to eat," Luke said mockingly.

"Lunch, here all day, what happened, why are we here did you at least ask?" Han said angrily.

"Yes of course I asked from what the guard told me we're here because you didn't have the docking bay pass to let us get on the Falcon." Luke replied curtly.

"Pass what pass, I didn't get any pass." Han replied trying to remember.

"Exactly that's why we're here, we all passed out and with no pass we were sent here because the docking bay security guard thought we were vagrants trying to sneak aboard a ship." Luke finished.

"Do you know when there coming back?" Han asked standing and approaching where Luke was sitting.

"After lunch sometime was all the guard said," Luke replied.

"_When's lunch?"_ Chewie chimed in.

"What?** If** they remember that we're here, who knows, it seems drunks are not a priority, when ever we're seen, we're seen, period?" Luke said frustrated.

"So where here until when ever is what you're saying?" Han replied exasperated.

" And wait it gets better, according to one of the other prisoners that was here, we could end up on Kessel working the mines for no less than thirty days," Luke further explained.

Hearing what Luke had just said Han began to look and sound panicky, running up to Luke and grabbing him by the shirt he asked.

"Kessel, did you say Kessel," releasing Luke's shirt he turned away and headed to Chewie asking the same question, "He did say Kessel," then turning back to Luke he again asked him, " you did say Kessel?"

Luke just stared at Han as he went from corner to corner talking to him self. Some word he could make out while others he couldn't. What he could make out was that he'd had a run in with the Imps. There and he wasn't quite sure but from the look on Hans face he didn't want to go back there. Not sure what to do, Luke just nodded each time Han turned to him asking if he had said Kessel.  
Finally stepping over to Han, Luke tried to console him.

"Don't worry buddy for some reason I don't think we're going to Kessel, something else is coming up I can't put my finger on it but it feels good right now."

"Oh great I'm dependant on a fledgling mumbo jumbo user, I'm doomed," looking at Chewie he added,

"We're doomed, we're all doomed."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally making sure that Vader was settled and resting Dr. Killemall thought it best to let the Grand Minister know of Lord Vader's status. Leaving instruction with 2-1B, he headed over to the Grand Minister's office. Not sure what to tell him he'd thought of several widely different stories, how do you tell the Grand Minister that we have the Emperors right hand man and he doesn't remember who he is. Finally settling on the truth; as unbelievable as it was, he approached the Ministers office and knocked on the door.

"Hold please," the voice of the Minister said through the intercom.

Hands clasped behind him Dr. killemall waited for the Minister to open the door wandering around he looked at the different pieces of art that decorated the wall, stared out the window and saw to rather hairy creatures have a argument over what he finally concluded was a create of food stuffs. Returning to the door it opened just as he approached.

"Come in please, ah Dr. It's nice to see you again, please sit," the Minister said recognizing the Dr. as he entered the office and offered him a seat.

"Good afternoon Minister I trust your heath is in good order?" Dr Killemall said returning the greeting.

"I've had some good days, and some bad days, but nothing to get worked up about, so tell me what brings you to this neck of the woods?" the Minister asked in return.

"We have a problem." Dr. Killemall started.

"When you say we I assume you mean me and you?" the minister asked.

"No I mean us, all of us, the whole planet." Dr. Killemall answered.

"You're not making any sense, why don't you start from the beginning?" The Minister asked confused.

"Ok, here goes now keep an open mind cause this is a dosey… oh short version or the long version?"

"Please Dr. the long we have plenty of time."

"Ok, well it seems we received a visitor of high status, and as you know all that come here are greeted by the host or hostess who ever is on that day, and the new visitor is pelted with water balloons," Dr. Killemall started.

"Yes ok, go on I follow you so far."

"Well this particular host was rather new, and well the visitor he pelted was none other than the Emperors right hand man… Darth Vader, the water seeped into his chest plate and short circuited it rendering him..."

Cutting the Dr. off the minister said, "Oh this isn't good, "please tell me he isn't dead?"

"Oh no quite the opposite… only… well, he can't remember who he is."  
The minister sat back in his chair the look on his face was one that didn't show promise. Leaning forward he asked.

"What are our options Dr.?"

"Well there's no permanent damage with the preliminary report, I am as we speak doing a more through examination of him, but that won't produce any results until the scan has been processed, then there's the norm for him which we don't know seeing that he wears that suit."

"What about his memory Dr.?"

"Well… that's a bit tricky, it could come back now, tomorrow, next week, next year, like I said I can't give any conclusions until all the tests are finished."

"So we could stand to be completely annihilated by the Emperor or congratulated for saving Vader," thinking for a moment he added, "I think the latter Dr. keep this between you and me… can you keep him confined to the Med center?"

"I doubt that he was already trying to leave I have him sedated right now, but continually doing that is not good, eventually he will have to leave."

The two sat trying to think of what to do when the director of the detention center came with the report of the night's activities and list of detainees.

"If you'll excuse me Dr. this won't take but just a second." The Minister said excusing himself.

"No by all means keep business as usual." The Dr. replied sitting easy in his chair.

"Come in captain and what have you got for me today." The minister asked extending his hand for the report.

"Just three, they were sleeping when the magistrate called for them and couldn't be woken, for making him wait he'd like you permission to send them straight to the mines on Kessel."

"And quite frankly we're tired of baby sitting the wookie, last time he was there, which was only yesterday, he put a few of my men out on sick leave, and I 'd like to get rid of him." The captain reported.

"Baby sitting huh, well I think we can accommodate you there captain," the Minister replied as he started to sign the order sending Han, Luke, and Chewie to the mines of Kessel. Stopping he thought of what the captain had just said looking at the Dr. He said, "Bay sitting."

"Dr. you can't keep him confined to the Med center, but how about we confine him to the planet, and away from the docking bay, I have just the people to baby sit our very important guest," The minister suggested looking down at the list.

"Do you think they'll do it?" The Dr. replied.

"Oh I can pretty much grantee they will; it's either that or work the mines for a year."


	10. Chapter 10

**Happy Rebirth Day**

**Chapter 10**

"Move along please." the guard ordered as Han, Chewie, and Luke slowed their progression to where ever it was they were going.

They had asked where it was they were being taken, but being treated as drunks and vagrants were on Paulking XII, the guard said nothing but placed them in wrist binders and usher them along. At one point the guard nudged Chewie with his stun baton, which didn't go well with Chewie. The guard knowing what happened to his fellow guards the day before thought better of it and decide to push Han and Luke instead.

"You know we have a right to know where we are going and what is to happen to us?" Han informed the guard, but his continuing inquiries as to there fate fell on deaf ears.

"Relax Han I told you everything is going to be ok, I'm pretty sure we're not going to Kessel… I have a feeling." Luke again told Han.

Han in turn just looked at Luke, smirked, and began remembering the last time he was on Kessel and the torture he went through being boarded by the Imperials. Had it not been for an old friend; who was less than happy to see Han on Kessel but owed him a big favor, he somehow smuggled Han and Chewie off Kessel and returned his beloved Falcon to him. After that Han's so called friend went into hiding never to be heard from again. He had heard rumors that his friend had been caught and sent back to Kessel but this time not as a guard, but a prisoner.

He'd made several inquiries as to his friends fate but received no duracrete knowledge that his friend was sent back there.

"We're here," the guard said stopping in front of a door.

"And where is here?" Han asked a little smug but still quite leery.

"You'll find out soon enough, my orders were specific just bring you here then stand guard until you were finished inside." the guard informed Han.

"My aren't we the over flowing bucket of information now that we're here, why couldn't you tell us that earlier?" Han asked still being smug.

"Just go inside, the Grand Minister is waiting to see you," the guard said motioning towards the door.

The guard activated the door comm announcing that he had arrived with the prisoners the Grand Minister had requested. With the door opening the Grand Minister was standing in front of his desk. And as Han was the first to enter the look he saw on the Grand Marshall's face confirmed what Han thought about all politicians, something was up and they were in trouble. It always seemed to happen that way when ever he dealt with politicians, they lure you in and the next thing you know you're taking on a battalion of storm troopers fully armed and all you've got is a spoon.

Turning to Luke who stepped up be side him he whispered.

"We'll be fine huh, I've got a feeling huh."

Luke just smiled and shrugged his shoulders replying.

"Trust me, have I ever let you down before?"

Han returned his smile though his was more sarcastic and returned.

'Not yet but there's a first time for everything."

The Grand Marshall waited until all three were in the room then started his speech knowing that he had them hooked it was just a matter of tell, no ordering them to do this little task.

"Ah gentlemen please sit," He said motioning to the seats in front of his desk, "and may I offer you some refreshments?"

'_Yup here we go,' _Han thought, _'offer us some goodies while slipping the noose over our heads then snap we become you little minions.'_

All three were hesitant but complied with the Grand Marshall's request Han was the first to sit taking the center seat which was just forward of the other two. The grand Marshall nodded, having set the seats in just that order figuring the leader of the group would take the center seat.

Returning to his own seat the Grand Marshall stood until Luke and Chewie took their seats then he followed suit.

"Please gentlemen have something to eat and drink, I'm sure you're hungry the food in the detention center leaves a lot to be desired," the Grand Marshall offered again.

Han who wanted to get right to the point knew that this was just to soften them up before he lowered the boom and asked them to do something stupid.

"Lets et to the point, Grand Marshall is it, then if your still offering we'll have some of this," Han said pointing to the refreshments on the desk, "besides I think we're going to need this after you ask, now tell us what you want," Han said curtly holding up a bottle of what he hoped was some type of alcoholic drink.

"Very well to the point- as you wish, gentlemen I have a little proposition for you," the Grand Marshall started.

"Here it comes," he whispered to Luke nudging him with his elbow.

"We've received a very important guest here on Paulking, and well he's had an accident and can't seem to remember who he is, now what I want from you three is to follow him around and make sure hew doesn't get into any trouble."

"Baby sit you want us to baby sit?" Han asked a little relieved it wasn't what he thought, "We can do that no problem."

Luke now himself becoming a little suspicious asked.

"What about our charges what is to be done about them?"

"Why those will be erased as if they never existed," the Grand Marshall started to explain, "providing of course you succeed in your task, if you fail you will be apprehended and will serve a full one year term working the mines of Kessel."

Chewie chimed in but not being able to understand the Wookie the Grand Marshall looked to Han and Luke for a translation.

Han nodded looked at Luke who also nodded and both said, "good question."

"What, what's a good question?" the Grand Marshall asked curiously.

"Well," Luke started, "who is it that we have to baby sit?"

"Oh I was getting to that, Darth Vader." the Grand Marshall answered.

Han's mouth dropped open, unable to speak he gripped the armrests of the seat and just stared at the Grand Marshall. Several very uncomfortable moments passed as Han Luke and Chewie just stared at the Marshall. Luke Regaining some of his composure first and a little hesitant to ask did so anyway.

"Ah-- you did say… Darth Vader, the Emperors second in command, that Darth Vader?"

"One and the same, but like I said he doesn't remember who he is, and by the looks on your faces I can tell you are probably wanted by the Empire for what ever reason."

Han his mouth now closed and some what coherent as to what he had just heard added, "You expect us to believe that the number two guy for the Emperor simply lost his memory, no doubt he's feeling guilty for all the lives he's taken and is disassociating form the pain."

The Grand Marshall tilted his head and with a smirk answered, "No. he was hit with a water balloon and his chest plate short circuited , and from what the doctor told me the shock scrambled his brain."

"Scrambled his brain, a dark Lord of the Sith, I'm not entirely up on my mumbo jumbo users , you'll have to check with the kid here," Han said quite excited pointing over his shoulder with his thumb to Luke, "but aren't they suppose to be able to heal them selves?"

"I am as educated as you are on Jedi and Sith, and by that statement am I to believe that your friend here is a Jedi?" The Grand Marshall asked in return.

Luke tried to look innocent and motioning with his hand that Han was a little crazy, he shook his head no and shrugged his shoulders. The minister looking over Han's shoulder saw what Luke had done and inconspicuously nodded his head.

"Well the questioned was asked now all you have to do is give me your answers," the Grand Marshall reiterated.

"This is not a decision you make by flipping a coin ya know." Han shot back curtly.

" You are right, I'll give you a few minutes to discuss it amongst yourselves, and I'll kindly thank you not to take that tone with me," the Grand Marshall responded sternly, "oh and remember if you should decide against my offer you'll be taken directly to the mines of Kessel, so by all means take you time."

Pushing his chair back he rose from his desk and moved to the other side of his office not being a very big office he just hear what the three were discussing. Pulling his comlink out he contacted the Dr.

"Dr. Killemall," he whispered into his comlink, "we have our three stooges, they'll be coming to you shortly… Grand Marshall out."

"Well gentlemen I'm afraid that's all the time I can give you, now what is you answer, are you to baby sit our V.I.P, or do we make reservations for the Kessel resort?"

Luke figuring that Han had done enough talking placed his hand on Han's shoulder and with out talking motioned that he'd answer the Grand Marshall.

"We'd be honored to take on that little task of yours, but if at all possible I'd, **we, **would like to speak to this Dr. our selves."

"Well as it stands and as we knew you would, you are to go directly to the Med Center straight from here, you are to be fitted with a personal transmitter so we can keep track of you, should you decide to, shall we say-- alter the agreement."

"Tagged you're gonna tag us oh now I've…," Han started to say but stopped, throwing his hands up then slumping in his seat.

"What ever you need Minister," Luke replied , "can we go now?"

"Yes by all means see the guard out side he'll take you to the Med center."

Watching the three leave he smirked and chuckled under his breath uttering, "Corellian's they're so dramatic."


	11. Chapter 11

**'Happy Rebirth Day'**

**Chapter 11**

'Owww… don't you think that thing's dialed a little high," Han asked in protest as the Dr. grabbed his arm readying him for his personal tracker.

"I haven't even touched you yet, ya big baby." The Dr. answered.

"Big baby, big baby am I, Dr. do you see these red stripes on my pants, do you know what they mean?" Han asked insulted.

The Doctor eyed Han's pants then responded, I've seen pants like this before, the Candy striper at the hospital was wearing them, so you're a candy striper?" the Dr. asked in return.

"NO!" Han replied now very insulted, "These are Corellian blood stripes and not just any one can get them you have to earn them."

"Well even a candy striper has to earn their stripes, now sit still I'm about to inject your tracker." The Dr. shot back knowing he was getting Han's goat.

Han winced a little as the tracker was injected into him, rubbing his arm where the Dr. had injected him at. The Dr. then motioned for Luke to step up, then Chewie where Luke was the easiest to do; Chewie was a little angry and less co-operative than Han was. Twice he shoved the Doctor, and the third time he tried Han intervened telling the doctor that twice was too much and he'd better let Han do it.

"How can I be sure that you'll inject him if I don't do it?" the Dr. asked.

"Look you want to do it by all means go right a head but I can't guarantee that your arms will remain where you comfortable with them," Han replied.

The Dr., not sure what that meant got a clue as Han made a gesture letting the Dr. know that Chewie might rip them off.

"Oh I see," he said getting the picture, "no I like my arms just where they are, you know I was born with them."

"Really now and here I thought you had just bought them," Han said sarcastically, "if I may Dr. we have a job to do," Han asked pointing to the injector.

"Oh by all means, just let me get a better view so I can make sure you inject your friend.

"Yeah what ever you say, hold still Chewie," Han said to Chewie not waiting for the Dr. to get into position.

With that done Han, Luke, and Chewie left the med center not even wishing the Dr. a good day, but where were they to go, and more so where was the amnesiac Darth Vader. Stopping Luke was shaking his head as he asked the Dr. where they were to go.

"Um- Doc where is our subject?"

"I was wondering where you were going too, your subject is just in the other room, now we've had to make some adjustments to his suit and he may look a little different than your use to but I assure you gentlemen he'll be right as rain by the time he's ready to leave our quaint little planet," The Dr. replied.

"Different, how different could a guy in an all black suit look?" Han asked in return.

What they saw when they entered Lord Vader's room was shocking to say the least. His helmet which was and always had been shinny and black was now a bright and a dull orange. Han did all he could to hold back his laughter as did Luke and Chewie.

"I knew you'd react like this," the Dr. said, "Now he's in a delicate state and thinks that he has to where that suit while he heals from his injuries, I'd advise you… not to add to his trauma it could be devastating to him."

"Aw the poor little pumpkin head," Han replied, "what abot all the devastation he's caused."

"Never the less he is a VIP from the Empire and is to be treated as such—is that** clear**- gentlemen?" the Dr. stressed to each of them.

"Oh crystal clear," Luke replied with a chuckle still staring at Vader's helmet.

"Gentleman I'll give you all of three seconds to compose you selves before I call Lord Vader over—starting now," the Dr. warned.

The Dr. stood hands on his hips tapping his foot as though he were addressing three mischievous children, when he was satisfied that they'd control there comments and behaviors he called to Lord Vader.

"Milord if you wouldn't mind there are some people here that I think you should meet." The Dr. called over. But when Lord Vader stood up, what the Dr., Luke, Han, and Chewie saw was to say the least humiliating but hilarious at the same time.

"Hi guys," Lord Vader replied waving his hand, there was nothing funny about that except what the four hadn't seen was that Lord Vader had been finger painting and his hands were covered with paint- bright green paint, and when he wave to them it went everywhere. Even the Dr. found it difficult to contain his laughter but did so, turning to Han, Luke, and Chewie, and with a half smile, and clenched teeth he urged them not to laugh. Gathering all the composure he could he turned back to Lord Vader introducing the three he'd brought with him.

"Ah Milord these three fine gentlemen have agreed to escort you around Paulking during your stay here they will show you to your quarters and be at your command should you need anything."

Han surprised at what he just heard tapped the Dr. on the shoulder trying to explain that, that wasn't the deal.

"Um excuse me but the Grand Marshall said we could do this from a far, we're not his personal entourage."

"Well you are now, due to what I've just seen I am altering the deal, pray that I don't alter it more," the Dr. replied through clenched teeth not letting Lord Vader hear that he was not happy with Lord Vader's behavior.

"_I don't think you can do that,"_ Chewie chimed in.

The Dr. unable to understand the Wookie looked to Han and Luke for a translation.

"Ah, he says… that… you don't have the authority to alter the deal and we don't have to listen to you," Han translated.

"You're sure he said those exact word, because to me his sentence wasn't that long?" the Dr. asked in return.

"Well… basically that's what he said," Luke replied.

"Basically huh, hold that thought for a sec," the Dr. said pulling his comlink out.

"Grand Marshall this is Dr. Killemall there has been a development with Lord Vader it seems I have to alter the deal with our three friends here and they need to stay with him as in close by, is there a problem with that?"

The Grand Marshall heard the message then replied after a second, "what ever you feel is necessary Dr. if our friends disagree just remind them of the resort we can send them too should they refuse, Grand Marshall out."

"There you have it gentlemen, everything is authorized, any more questions?" The Dr. asked with a smirk.

"No," Han, and Luke answered while Chewie just gave the Dr. a hard stare picturing him with no arms.

"If you'll follow me I believe introductions are in order."

Han and Luke just stared at the Dr., then to Lord Vader, then at each other, Chewie was just looking at Han as if saying.

"You're the boss I do what you do."

"Aaa… gentlemen this way… over here, this way," the Dr. announced trying to get their attention.

Reluctantly the three followed the Dr. and as he made the intros Han, Luke, and Chewie waited to find them selves either dead, or on their way to being executed.

"Lord Vader I'd like you to meet the three gentlemen that have volunteered to be your escorts during your stay with us here," the Dr. said.

"Oh I'm to have escorts, hi guys," Lord Vader said looking past the Dr.

Han and his companions just waved back nonchalantly, half smiles on there face's, except for Chewie who looked like a rabid Bantha ready to strike.

"Ew what's wrong with that one he doesn't look very happy," Lord Vader replied seeing Chewie's expression.

Han elbowed Chewie who immediately stopped smiling, "Oh that's just the way a Wookie smiles Milord," Han answered with a slight bow.

"Oh-ok then you guys wanna finger paint with me it's lots of fun plus you get to get messy."

"Well you gentlemen seem to have things in hand, so I'll leave you to your duties," the Dr. said with a smile, "Oh and Lord Vader is too return here at the days end so we can get updates from his suit and monitor his progress," he added with a wink.

Walking away Luke could hear the Dr. talking to him self saying.

"Oh this just won't do he's regressing to a child… more tests-- oh much more test will be needed."

Luke watched as the Dr. left the room and then knew that this detail wasn't about to be a short one and that wouldn't do soon the Alliance would become worried when they didn't check in and knowing Leia and Mon Mothma, they'd sent a task force to find them. That in mind he tapped Han on the shoulder who was watching Lord Vader finger paint and he in turn was motioning for them to join him.

"Um," Luke whispered, "this may take longer than we thought we need to get a message through to home and let them know what's going on."

"No can do kid- ships locked up tighter than an air lock, you heard the Grand Marshall we even go near the spaceport and we're on a ship to the Kessel retreat, you're gonna have to think of something else," Han replied, giving Chewie a nudge he ordered-with a smile, "Chewie get in there and play with Lord Vader."

Emperor Palpatine sat at his desk, deeply enthralled with his fish. He had his finger on the side of the bowl moving it about and was over joyed that the fish was following his finger.

"Yes… that's my little pooky follow daddies finger around… would you like some food?"

He was just about to add a pinch of fish food to the bowl when his personal secretary entered the office.

"My Emperor, it's been several days sense we've heard from Lord Vader and I have it on good knowledge, well I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who over heard it from someone else that an accident has befallen Lord Vader."

"Oh no that's not good; I hope he brought some band aids with him if he gets an infection, oooo just the thought of it sends a chill down my spine." The Emperor commented not taking his eyes of his fish bowl.

The secretary waited for several moments for an answer and one didn't come he reiterated his statement.

"Um hello there did you hear what I said, Lord Vader has had an accident, shouldn't we at least call to see how he's doing?"

"WHAT! Can't you se that I'm busy," the Emperor said startled, "Oh… the Vader thingy, yeah what ever- I have more important things to do right now, have you seen this, Pooky follows my finger around, he's so smart."

"He a regular genius, another two million years and he'll replace us on the evolutional scale, now about Lord Vader?" the secretary again asked now a little annoyed.

"Yes, yes do what ever is needed, now leave me I need to get back to Pooky," the Emperor ordered waving his hand.

"Do what ever? Ok so what ever we do you be sure and let me know what that is… _my Emperor_," the secretary replied totally disgusted and leaving.

"Oh yes very good Pooky won't Lord Vader be surprised when he returns and see's the new trick you can do, I'm so happy I may declare it a holiday." Emperor Palpatine said to him self.


	12. Chapter 12

**'Happy Rebirth Day'**

**Chapter 12**

Keeping true to a suggestion he made to himself Emperor Palpatine sent a message to all Moff's and their seconds; _'Report immediately to Coruscant for a very important and long over due announcement.'_

Standing at the podium of the grand audience chamber; a left over from the old Republic, now only used for issuing orders to his subordinates through out the galaxy. Emperor Palpatine was brimming with excitement about his up coming announcement.

"They're all here for you Pooky," he said looking to the side of the podium where he'd placed Pookies fish bowl.

The room was half full of Moff's with more piling in through the Chambers numerous entrances. The chatter about the chamber was why this meeting was called and what was so urgent about it. Some guessed that the long awaited supplies and re-enforcements they had requested were finally available, while others proclaimed that the Emperor was going to announce a new push in the unknown regions. All were wrong of course but not knowing why they were summoned, the rumors were flying.

Looking to the podiums chronometer Emperor Palpatine counted down the final seconds, at which point he'd make his announcement.

"Three… two… one… action," the Emperor whispered.

His secretary in attendance along with several of his personal guards, all knowing that as of late the Emperor was not quite himself, meaning he was more off his rocker than usual.

"Gentleman," he stared his voice echoing through the chamber amplified by the chambers speaker system, "You are all probably wondering why I have called this meeting," the Emperor paused as the hum of Moff's and their seconds filled the chamber all saying the same thing, "do ya think."

"I know how hard you've all worked enforcing the laws I have set fourth and for a long time you thought you pleas for supplies and re-enforcements went unheard, I am pleased to say that your wait is at its end, starting immediately and due to some recent and very important developments, I have declared a new holiday to be celebrated starting tomorrow and on the same day every year, the day is to be in remembrance of Pookies accomplishments, and hence fourth shall be known as ' Pooky Day," again the chamber filled with the hum of voices but these were not of good nature and relief, but of disgust.

"We don't need another holiday we need supplies and men," one Moff screamed.

Then the thrall fell in behind that comment as the rest of the Moff's gathered replied, "yeah, and who the hell is Pooky?""

"I know this is a long time in coming but I want you to know that you requests do not go unheard, that is all for now… I believe you all have long voyages home to prepare for the up coming holiday."

The voices grew louder as all of the Moff's voiced there opinions on what the Emperor could with his new holiday.

"Listen to them Pooky," the Emperor said looking to the side of the podium where he had placed his fish bowl, "they're cheering for you," turning to his personal guards and secretary he gave them a wink saying, "see I told you this would go over big, they love me."

The guards happy that their faces were covered just nonchalantly shook their heads, while the secretary looked about the chamber waiting for the first rock to be thrown and wanted to see it coming when it did.

"Let us go now it's time for Pooky and my snack and I think we're having snow flake cake with coco icing… Pooky just loves the icing, as do I.'

With that the secretary pushed the button quickly lowering the podium to a chamber that lead to a passage back to the Emperors private quarters. Once there he walked slowly carrying his fish bowl in a manner so as not to spill any water and was whispering to Pooky. Half way to his private quarters he turned to his secretary giving her a wink saying.

"And you were worried, I told you they'd love the new holiday, and if you think that's good wait till they see the Pooky action figure and accessories I will introduce next month, they're sure to sell out the first week they are on the market."

"Ok that's it the secretary I have had enough this is just to much… I quit… how do I get out of this cuckoo nest." the secretary bleated.

"Cuckoo's nest… cuckoo's nest, I'll have you know that the cuckoo is an extinct bird and this palace in no way resemble a cuckoo's nest," the Emperor protested, leaving them behind he stormed the rest of the way to his quarters by himself turning just before he closed the door and snubbing his personal entourage.

The five just stood there awe struck at what had just happened turning to each other, with one saying, "I know where we can get jobs as bouncers."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days had passed and Lord Vader was finally allowed to tour the city of Paulking. Excited and like a kid in a toy store he darted around from shop to shop looking at the different wares and oddities each shop keeper had.

"This is really great," Lord Vader proclaimed, " I never knew all this stuff was here."

Turning to Han, Luke, and Chewie he asked.

"Can we get some things to bring back to the med center it's so boring after you guys drop me off and I have nothing to do."

Han signing replied.

"Boring! We've gotten just about every Jabba the Hutt action figure and play set there is on this planet, not to mention the vehicles and weapons for his henchmen, Chew… I mean Stripe is going to have a retro active hernia with everything he's carried for you these past few days."

"Awww… please Han just a few more I really need this play set cause Jabba's slaves are having an up rising tonight, and this will help them over throw the bad Hutt."

"Han threw his hands in the air looking at Luke ha said.

"You deal with him I can't any more."

Luke patted Han on the back and sending him on a break he turned to Lord Vader saying.

"Ok but this is the last play set we're getting, you have to remember you don't have much room on your ship."

"This is the last one I promise," Lord Vader said excited turning he almost knocked over a Twi' lek couple who started to show their anger but when they saw who it was that nearly knocked them down they just bowed and let him pass. Lord Vader just stared for a couple of seconds then apologized continuing to the shop. The couple just stared and looked at Luke who shrugged his shoulders replying.

"Go figure,"

The two didn't know what to make of it but knew that the getting was good and before something really bad happened they made a hasty exit. Luke moved to the entrance of the shop literally dragging Chewie with him.

"Oh stop you complaining this is the last one… I promise and so does Lord Vader, you wouldn't want to deprive Jabba's slaves of the one thing that will tip the scales in their favor would you?"

Chewie slumped against the wall of the shop, he'd make them pay for everything that's happened to him sense coming to Paulking. From being pelted with water balloons and getting locked up not once but twice to being Lord Vader private playmate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Princess Leia paced the command center, it had been several days since she last heard from Han, and Luke and she was beginning to worry. She brought it to Mon Mothma, and Admiral Ackbar's attention but they seemed to pass it off as minor glitch rather than a major catastrophe.

"They're on a mission to seek out a secret Imperial listening station so it stands to reason that if they're close to it they'd not risk contacting us until they were safe, besides we'd have heard if the Empire had captured them," Mon Mothma had told her.

A little at ease that some of what Mon Mothma had told her was true she relented, but the worry still stuck in the back of her mind.

"We've more pressing business right now to discuss, we've received word from one of our under cover operatives that the Emperor has called all the Moff's and their seconds in for an announcement, while he didn't get to attend the meeting he received word that there is a new holiday the Emperor has created-called, 'Pooky Day,' it has to be something top secret." Admiral Ackbar informed Leia.

"Pooky Day, what's a Pooky?" Leia asked perplexed.

"Our question exactly, it has to be something military, a push, a new weapon… something," Mon Mothma added.

Leia's thoughts of Han and Luke's welfare stifled for now, she had a task to complete- find out what a Pooky was and whether or not it was something the Alliance needed to worry about.

"I'll comprise a team of the best slicers and information gathers and one way or another will find out what a Pooky is," Leia said with conviction

Turning she left Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar to their task in keeping the Alliance safe and hidden from the Empire, her thoughts returning to Han and Luke for a moment she whispered.

"I hope you guys are ok."


	13. Chapter 13

**'Happy Rebirth Day'**

**Chapter 13**

Cases were piled to one side of Emperor Palpatine's office, more were arriving every day and the excitement of the upcoming release of Pookies action figure was hitting him like a kid in a candy shop.

"Look at this Pooky all this is for you you'll be the hit of the week, month, maybe even the year, probably out do the Jabba the Hutt action figure," Emperor Palpatine said gleaming.

He had several of the boxes open to check that everything he asked for was in order. Spread out on the desk he had evening wear, safari wear, weapons, vehicles, and even

Had applications for the Pooky fan club to be sold with every action figure.

His new secretary hadn't known why the old secretary had left, figured it out thirty seconds after he been assigned but as long as he was getting paid he didn't care if the Emperor walked around thinking he was the Grand Pooh-Bah of Tinkle Town.

"Good morning Grand Pooh-Bah," the secretary said entering the Emperor's office with his breakfast tray.

Startled the Emperor looked up asking, "Grand Pooh-Bah, Grand Pooh-Bah? What's a Grand Pooh-Bah?"

"Oh that's a title given to someone who rules over the Tinkle Town," the secretary replied.

"Tinkle Town… never heard of it," the Emperor replied loosing interest and returning to his toys.

The secretary chuckled and thinking, _"of course you've never heard of it you twit, it's a story told to children that are having trouble toilet training." _

"I have your breakfast here my Emperor," the secretary said placing a tray down on the only place available--on top of Pookies fish bowl.

"Ooo breakfast," the Emperor said excitedly then noticed where the secretary had placed the tray.

"Great gobbledee gobs of Bantha Poodoo, what possessed you to put that there you'll suffocate Pooky!"

"I'm sorry my Emperor but there was no place to put it down with all your toys on the desk."

"Remove it remove it now--- and say sorry to Pooky, you probably scared the dickens out of him," the Emperor said now rubbing the fish bowl, _"there, there Pooky did the big bad man scare you."_

The Emperor looked at the secretary and with a very stern look ordered.

"Now you say sorry to Pooky, right this second."

The secretary lifting one eye brow looked at the fish then the Emperor replying, "but it's just a fish he probably doesn't even know the tray was there."

"Just a fish- just a fish? Pooky is not just a fish he is a very smart fish look how he follows my finger around when I move it up and down the bowl."

"My Emperor he's probably just hungry," the secretary said a very perplexed look on his face.

"I don't think I like you and I know Pooky doesn't like you… you are dismissed have yourself executed the first chance you get, now leave us- you're upsetting Pooky."

Thinking for a couple of seconds the secretary asked with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Any particular mode of execution you like me to use on myself Grand Pooh-Bah?"

The Emperor completely enthralled with what he was doing only caught the tail end of the secretaries question, looked up with a puzzled look.

"Pooh-Bah, Oh yes the ruler of Tinkle Town-- what planet is that on, And didn't I tell you… oh never mind just get me some hot coco there's a chill in here, now leave us."

Taken back the secretary had gone from being ordered to execute himself back to being reinstated in a matter of thirty seconds, turning a shaking his head he mused, _'boy if he's this easy the next time I'm here I'm asking for a raise, and maybe a company ship.'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lord Vader diligently worked setting up his Jabba the Hutt play sets. He'd placed them all around his med center room, and to be sure he had enough room he pushed all the furniture in the room to one side and covered it with bed linen. Placing the last building he looked about the room making sure he was satisfied with the set up.

Dr. Killemall sat by with a look of fascination, the time it had taken Lord Vader to set this up was long and tedious task in it self, in fact he'd swear that it looked exactly like the real Jabba's palace. But that fascination had turned to worry as each day Lord Vader seemed to slip deeper into the mind set of a child. It was bad enough he had to give the Grand Marshall regular reports but with each passing day there was less and less the Dr. could do, if anything at all. Soon a report would have to be made and sent to the Emperor, and given the Grand Marshall's talent for passing things off he really didn't want to do- he was sure he'd be the one delegated to give the Emperor the report on Lord Vader.

Pushing those thoughts aside for when he'd actually was ordered to do so he watched as Lord Vader began his adventure.

"Your exaltedness," Vader began imitating the voice of one of Jabba's Gamorian Guards, " the slaves are refusing to work even though the threat of death looms over there heads, they choose that instead of submitting to your rule any longer"

Placing the Gamorian figure in front of Jabba's figure he them moved around to become the Hutt himself.

"Ha, ha, ha…," Jabba began, " so it has finally come, my servants wish to over throw me do they? Well no bother, see what it is they want, grant it- then kill them all-- the message will be sent that I do not give in to anyone."

"It will be done you exaltedness, " Vader replied becoming the Gamorian once again.

Moving to another part of Jabba's city where the slave were quartered he prepared to carry out the slug orders. Moving the Gamorian as though he were walking to the slave quarters he stopped along the way as though he were talking to other members of Jabba's staff. Reaching the slave quarters he entered through the play sets small doors, but because of Lord Vader's large gloved hands he nearly knocked the play set over. Righting it, he continued.

"I wish to speak to your representative, " He said continuing to play the Gamorian guard.

"That would be me," Vader answered mimicking the voice of a Twi'Lek slave.

"Good I am ordered to ask by Jabba- what it is you want from him and grant anything it is that you want."

"Why… we want to be set free- of course," the Twi'lek answered.

"I see then I am to split you up into small groups for processing after which you are to be… freed."

The dr. having seen enough called a halt to Lord Vader's little adventure.

"Ok milord it's time for bed." he announced.

"Time for bed! But I've only just started you have to let me stay up and finish ," Lord Vader pleaded.

"No, no it's time for all Little Lords to get some sleep, the slave revolt can wait until tomorrow." the Dr. ordered.

"But, but the slaves will escape." Vader continued to plead.

"No they won't we'll lock the door I've set up another room for you lets go now I have a lot of reports to write."

"Aww this isn't fair, it was just getting good too they were going…" Vader tried to explain but the doctor cut him off.

"Now don't ruin it for me I like surprises, are you ready the doctor said holding out his hand.

"Oh all right, " Vader said giving in, but we start first thing in the morning, and for breakfast I want pancakes, and, OJ and, Bantha sausage, and a big ice cold glass of blue milk."

"You got it, I'll have that all pureed for your feeding tube, now off to bed.  
Dr. Killemall said ushering Vader off, watching him, he was lost in the moment thinking of when his own children gave him a hard time about going to bed. But the realization had come back as Vader entered his new room and the door closed behind him. Now he had to comprise a report for the Grand Marshall… and eventually for the Emperor

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Leia sat at her computer surrounded by her team of slicers and information gatherers. Seventeen in total, she had split them up into teams of three each searching the many files past and present looking for the identity of 'Pooky', and whether or not it was a danger to the Alliance.

The six teams had been searching for hours and still had not found anything substantial. The only piece of information naming 'Pooky' was the bit from the Alliance's operative about the Emperor addressing his subordinates. Frustrated Leia slammed her hand down on the console drawing her teams attention.

"All right people we're going to have to widen our search to transmissions emanating from systems we know the Empire has a presence in," she started.

"Teams one thru three- you'll scan transmissions coming from the outer rim, mid rim, and the expansion regions; teams four and five you'll take the inner rim, and the colonies, while my team takes the core and deep core," Leia finished

Pausing as the looks on her peoples faces were less than happy at there new tasks she added.

"I know it's a lot to do but think people if this 'Pooky' thing is as dangerous as the Alliance commands thinks the sooner we find out what it is the sooner we can take a break, think of all the lives you seventeen people can save."

Leia being the politician that her father always wanted knew how to work a room and get the juices flowing in her people.

"We'll do Princess don't you worry," came the voice from the far side of the room.

"That's the spirit now I'll have some caf brought in along with some Bantha steak sandwiches, I'll be back as soon as I can," pausing she looked down at a chronometer that was not on her wrist, and finished, "I have a thing to go to and I'm late as we speak."

Turning she hastily left the make shift computer room.


End file.
